We’re here again with “Papa Bear” (or “Bear”)
And today we’re doing, uh, what would you call it?
A gourmet… a review [Papa Bear]
Yeah, of a cheeseburger, at the liquor store
called “the big cheeseburger” [Interviewer]
The big cheeseburger [Papa Bear]
And it’s fairly large
It’s about that big And it comes in the cooler
They have the big cheeseburger
The big chicken burger I think those are the only two
as far as the “big” thing
Specifically says “big” on the front wrapping
which is in plastic And then you microwave it
The cheese gets melted and dripping [Interviewer]
How did you discover this cheeseburger? Friends I met at the shelter
We were sitting here talking
I told them I was really hungry So they used their food stamp card,
which you can, to buy food [Interviewer]
Makes sense And bought me the cheeseburger
Never had it before
They didn’t tell me what they were getting me to eat And I bit into it
and it was like soooo good It’s $3… but now it’s $3.50
They’ve raised it 50 cents
Inflation It’s hard, I can’t afford it
except on rare occasions [Interviewer]
Yeah, when I get a little bit of money aside Oh, that burger! [Interviewer]
So it’s cheese, got anything on it?
Like onions, lettuce, tomato? [Papa Bear]
Just cheese and a burger and a bun
Big bun, like a… sesame seed on top No mayonnaise, no nothing
Just straight cheeseburger
Burger and cheese [Interviewer]
Do you think this is a big seller
at the liquor store, this burger?
Think they sell a lot of ’em? [Papa Bear]
You know, I believe they do
Because sometimes I go in there and I want one
and can’t get it They have the big chicken,
but I want the burger [Papa Bear] It’s not as good, to me
[Interviewer] Which one, the chicken?
[Papa Bear] The chicken. The burger’s better [Interviewer] Is that just because you don’t like chicken?
[Papa Bear] No, I like chicken, I love chicken
[Interviewer] So there’s something about the burger [Interviewer]
Well maybe we ought-a take a stroll over
and check out this burger [Interviewer] Is this where you’re hanging out?
[Papa Bear] This is my home
[Interviewer] That’s your home [Interviewer] It’s a nice day
[Papa Bear] Yeah, not too bad,
not too hot, not too cold [Interviewer] And the fog’s gone
[Papa Bear] And it’s not too windy, yet [Papa Bear]
What goes great with it is a nice cold brewski [Interviewer] What kind? [Papa Bear, exclaiming indignantly]
The king of beers!
[Both laughing] [Papa Bear] I been drinking Budweiser for 63 years
[Interviewer] 63 years of Budweiser [Papa Bear] I started at 8 months old
[Interviewer] 8 months old! [Papa Bear]
My dad said I started walking at 7 months old And at 8 months I walked over to the coffee table
to get his can of Budweiser
which was in 1950 And drank as much as I could
And he got a kick out of me sucking my thumb
And walking around the house bumping into things And I been drinking Bud ever since
It’s the king of beers [Dramatic, triumphant music with choir vocalizing] [Interviewer] All right, there we got it
[Papa Bear] Ah, big cheeseburger! [Interviewer]
So now, see what that’s called
I think that means “big a**”, what do you think? [Papa Bear] Big… [laughing]
[Interviewer] It’s not Arizona, right?
[Both laughing] [Interviewer] Hope it doesn’t taste like big a**!
[Papa Bear] Oh, no [Papa Bear]
I wouldn’t know…
I don’t know how the derrière tastes
[Both laughing] [Interviewer] Look at that thing, whoa
[Papa Bear] Look at that
[Man in background] That’s a pretty thick burger [Interviewer] Looks pretty good
[Papa Bear] Yeah! [Papa Bear to man in background] Want a bite?
[Interviewer] So what’s inside, can we see?
[Man in background] Kind of glued together there [Interviewer]
Cheese and burger
Okay, eat it before it gets cold [Man in background]
It’s good that they do it like that
That’s what ruins it, when they put all the crap on it [Interviewer] Is it good?
[Papa Bear] mmmmmm
[Interviewer] Good as usual?
[Papa Bear] Most assuredly! It’s most excellent! [Interviewer] Most excellent burger
[Papa Bear] They have ’em at other stores
I mean other liquor stores [Interviewer]
Let’s see the wrapper
Where does it come from? [Interviewer]
Big Az… It’s not from Arizona, I assume
Where’s it from?
It’s from Cincinnati, Ohio, did you know that? [Papa Bear] Hey! That’s where I was born!
[Interviewer] You were born in Cincinnati?
So that’s why you like this so much [Man in background] Take a photo of the ingredients
[Interviewer] Yeah, look at how big that is [Interviewer]
So the first ingredient is beef
So that’s a good sign
The second ingredient is water
That’s interesting [Interviewer]
Followed by onions
So there’s onions in there [Man in background] Onion powder?
[Interviewer] Just says onions [Man in background]
Gotta be soybean in there somewhere
Well, the number 4 sounds really delicious [Interviewer]
It’s “textured vegetable protein product”
[Man in background]
Beautiful! I think my dog food has that in it [Interviewer]
And it’s got caramel color
It’s got zinc oxide
Why do they put zinc oxide in there? [Man in background] That’s what you put on for…
[Interviewer] For sun burn, yeah [Interviewer]
So this burger is protected from sun
by zinc oxide [Papa Bear laughs and says]
But it gets microwave heated [Interviewer]
Niacinamide, and then one of my favorites
I always ask for that on my burger [Man in background] That’s iron
[Interviewer] Is it? Yeah, you’re right, ferrous, okay [Interviewer]
And Copper Gluconate
So you got iron and copper [Man in background]
Got a lot of heavy metals in there
Yeah, so you’re going to turn into a super hero of some kind [Interviewer]
And then vitamin A, that’s a good thing [Interviewer]
Dextrose (sugar), salt
It’s got salt
Onion powder, spices [Interviewer]
And then the bun [Interviewer]
“Heat in a 1000-watt microwave”
You suppose their microwave is…
We didn’t ask if it is 1000 watts. [Papa Bear] No
[Interviewer] Hopefully they did it right
[Papa Bear] It was probably over 1200
[Interviewer] Yeah, but it turned out okay though [Interviewer]
Net weight 9.65 ounces,
but that includes the bun [Papa Bear, sighing contentedly]
Mmmmm, I really like these burgers!
They’re so filling [Papa Bear] Oh man! I’m getting full [Interviewer] Now see what it says right there
“New look, same Big Az taste” [Man in background] Big Az taste [inaudible] they got something
[Interviewer] Big Az taste