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S2E13 – MB | Saving George (Thanksgiving Special) | Sketch Show | Wall Street | Puppet Series

September 9, 2019


[MB S2E13 – Saving George (Thanksgiving Special) – Thanksgiving 2013] (Jack) [To someone offscreen] Hey, guys (collective) – where’ve you been? [Responding to someone offscreen.] What mix-up? I thought you were covering the turkey farm. [Responding to someone offscreen.] Marcel? He was going to go talk to some of the Black Friday shoppers camping out in front of stores. [See: Black Friday (shopping), Thanksgiving (U.S.)] [Responding to someone offscreen.] The cars got mixed up? [Responding to someone offscreen.] Marcel went out to a turkey farm? [Responding to someone offscreen.] Oh, my gosh. He [Marcel] might never talk to anybody again. [Context: Marcel is known to be stylish, hedonistic, and more than a bit lazy. He’d be the very last person on the MB crew to volunteer to go out to cover a story at a working farm – there’d be lots of hay, mud, and animals; it’d be a bit too messy, and far too much like…well, work.] (Marcel) Hey, ‘allo [hello], Jack! (Jack) Marcel! How are you feeling? (Marcel) Oh, I’m just fine. But, oh là là. I got into the wrong car. I thought I was going to [well-known restaurant] Le Cirque, but we go to a – how you say…a farm. [Marcel is shown at the farm. He looks around, perplexed.] [Marcel is shown at the farm.] ‘Allo? ‘Allo? [Hello? Hello?] ‘Allo. [Hello.] Excuse me, cow – have you seen any Black Friday shoppers? It must be a really long line. [Context: Marcel considers that it must be an exceptionally long Black Friday line, if the end of the queue is here in this field, in the middle of nowhere.] Actually…is that a cow? They look different on the plate. [Sheep in the field are discussing the unexpected visitor (Marcel).] Sheep #1: Meh-bahh-hahaa – What did he say? Sheep #2: He thinks we’re cows. [Laughing.] Sheep #1 and #2: Bahahhaha. Bahahhaha. A real farm. With mud. Just look at my shoes. (Jack) [Sympathetic, but also trying hard not to laugh.] Oh, dear. (Marcel) I know! And animals. All around. I don’t how I survived. (Jack) [Impressed – he understands Marcel’s stylish and lazy ways, through being friends and working together for a long time.] But you did! (Marcel) Oh, oui (yes)…it was an adventure. I had some apple cider and went on something called a hayride. (Jack) So, you’ve got footage back from the turkey farm? (Marcel) Ah, oui [yes]. (Marcel) [Reconsiders.] Ah – ah, non [no]. I think I left the camera on the hayride. It’s probably somewhere going ’round and ’round. Eh, but – look, they gave me a souvenir. We can interview him about the turkey farm. [Jack looks at something; he’s surprised by what he sees.] (Jack) Okay. (Jack) What is that. (Marcel) That’s George. (Jack) [Holds his head, laughing.] (Jack) Marcel, you can’t bring that in here, it’s a turkey. (Marcel) Why not? He’s good company. (Jack) [In mild disbelief.] [It’s] A turke- a LIVE TURKEY. (Jack) [To someone offscreen.] Okay, look – we have to film the Thanksgiving segment. (Jack) [To someone offscreen.] Oh, you know – we should do one on Black Friday shopping, too. (Marcel) Ah, bon [good], you can start that, eh. (Jack) [Watching Marcel walking out of the room.] (Jack) Where’re you going? (Marcel) George needs a sandwich. Back later. (Jack) But…there’s a… turkey. (Jack) [Bemused.] (Jack) I’m just going to press my head. (Jack) Deep breaths. (Jack) [Responding to someone offscreen.] I don’t know. See if you can get the farm on the phone. Ask them if they’ve got a missing turkey. No, we don’t know if its name is George, that’s just… Marcel being… you know…Marcel. [i.e., slightly eccentric.] (Jack) [Preparing to film the Thanksgiving 2013 segment – Thanksgiving in 2013 falls on Nov. 28, 2013.] So, Thanksgiving – let’s see… (Jack) Annual holiday Thanksgiving is celebrated in the U.S. on the fourth Thursday of November, and in Canada on the second Monday of October. The [Thanksgiving] holiday has roots in the celebration of the harvest, but culturally, has become an excuse for family and friends to get together for a slap-up [excellent, first-rate] meal. Traditional foods finding their way to the table for Thanksgiving include mashed potatoes, cranberries, and the centerpiece – a whole turkey. (Jack) [Segment interruption.] [Responding to someone offscreen.] Yes, I know about the turkey, thank you. (Jack) [Responding to someone offscreen.] [Wait…] What about the turkey? (Jack) [Responding to someone offscreen] What did they [owners or employees of the turkey farm] say? (Jack) [Responding to someone offscreen] Well, try them again. What, you have them on the phone? (Jack) They said we could keep him [George]? (Jack) No, we don’t want to keep him, that’s the whole point. (Jack) [Resumes segment.] Non-profit organization the American Farm Bureau Federation [AFBF] or the Farm Bureau, reports in their informal annual [price] survey that the average cost of a homemade [Thanksgiving] feast for 10 this year would be USD 49.04, or less than five [U.S.] dollars per serving, down 44 cents from last year’s [2012] average of USD 49.48. The Farm Bureau survey shopping list includes [a set, theoretical dinner ingredients list, consisting of] turkey, bread stuffing, sweet potatoes, rolls with butter, peas, cranberries, a relish tray of carrots and celery, pumpkin pie with whipped cream, and beverages of coffee and milk, all in quantities sufficient to serve ten diners at the table. (Jack) [Overhears the turkey (George) who’s somewhere offscreen, underfoot.] George: Gobble-gobble. (Jack) [Nods.] (Jack) A turkey. (Jack) [To someone offscreen.] Back in a sec (second). (Jack) [On the phone.] Hi, is this the turkey farm? Great. Yeah, you know – we have one of your turkeys. (Jack) [On the phone. We hear his half of the conversation.] No, it wasn’t- it wasn’t delicious. I mean we have one of your LIVE turkeys. (Jack) [Listening.] (Jack) What ransom demand? (Jack) ‘Ransom demand’? What rans- no, no, it’s not a ransom demand. Apparently one of the [news] anchors at our studio was given a live turkey as a souvenir. (Jack) [Listening.] Can’t take it back? Well, what should we do with it? (Jack) [Listening.] I’m sorry, but- [continues to listen.] (Jack) I really don’t see how you can re-gift a live turkey. (Jack) [Listening.] (Jack) Wrapping paper? (Jack) [Looks briefly at the viewer, in consternation. Continues to listen.] (Jack) [Insistent, looking for a sensible solution.] I really don’t see how you can re-gift a live turkey. (Jack) [Listening.] (Jack) So, give them a dead turkey? Look, I’m only trying to, uh- (Jack) [Interrupted by someone offscreen, looks up.] Yeah? What’s up? (Jack) Oh, okay. (Jack) [Signs off on conversation with person at the turkey farm.] Sorry, have to film a segment. (Jack) [Shaking his head.] Five minutes. Just give me five minutes. Deep breaths. (Jack) Aaaaaagh. There’s just a turkey. Oh, but – you know? (Jack) [To someone offscreen.] Is the buffet lunch in the lounge? (Jack) We can take a break after this, so everyone can have an early Thanksgiving lunch. (Jack) [Talking to someone offscreen.] What’re we having? (Marcel) Hmm-hmm-hmm… [Marcel strolls through the break room.] (Jack) [Continues talking to someone offscreen.] Mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and salad. [Marcel is shown in the break room.] (Jack) [Continues talking to someone offscreen.] That [lunch menu] sounds good. I’m almost afraid to ask – is there going to be a- (Jack) [Turkey on the menu is confirmed.] -yeah, there’s going to be a turkey. (Marcel) [Turns in surprise.] Ah? (Jack) [Nods.] (Marcel) Oh là là. [Oh, no.] (Marcel) [To George, who’s not shown onscreen.] Don’t look, George – let’s go for a walk. (Jack) [Talking to someone offscreen.] Can we just ring the turkey farm again and see if they’ll take the turkey back? You did? They [turkey farm owner or employee] said what? (Jack) [Slightly shocked.] What did they say? (Jack) [They said] ‘Kill the turkey for Thanksgiving.’? (Jack) Marcel’s not going to be happy about THAT. (Marcel) Eh? What’s that? (Jack) The turkey gets it. (Marcel) What turkey? (Jack) [Stares.] (Jack) The one you’re hiding under your desk. (Marcel) What desk? (Jack) Okay, look, Marcel – we have to shoot this segment on Black Friday, maybe one of the crew’s going to have to kill the turkey. (Marcel) Who are you, ‘The Godfather’? [See: Film, ‘The Godfather’ (1972); character of Vito Corleone, played by Marlon Brando. Ex. clips: ‘Bonasera, Bonasera…’] (Marcel) [To George.] Shhh… George, don’t listen. (Marcel) [To George.] Cover your ears. (Marcel) Oh, he [George] doesn’t have any [ears]. So, no problem. (Jack) Marcel, what are we going to do with a live turkey in the studio? (Marcel) He [George] can retire. He can be a mascot. He could be a guard dog. Guard turkey. [Jack shakes his head.] (Marcel) He [George] can join the wild turkeys. Or – Grimsy, he needs a pet. We save ‘im [him] for Grimsy. [See: MB S1E23 – ‘Grimsy’ or MB S2E12 – ‘Life Could be a Dream…’] (Marcel) [To himself.] Hmm, that’s a good idea… (Jack) [To someone offscreen.] No, I don’t have a headache. Just…pressing my head. (Jack) [Responding to someone offscreen.] What turkey assassin? (Jack) [In disbelief.] There’s a ‘turkey assassin.’ [at the door]. (Jack) [Nods.] (Jack) [To someone offscreen.] Okay…sure. (Jack) [Talking to someone offscreen.] Let him [the turkey assassin] in. (Marcel) Kill George? (Marcel) Never! Run, George! (Marcel) Run! (Jack) [To himself.] I just don’t even… (Jack) Anyway, back to Black Friday. (Jack) [To someone offscreen.] Somebody just get on, you know, the problem. (Jack) [Black Friday segment.] ‘Black Friday’ is just the Friday following Thanksgiving Day [Thanksgiving Day falls on November 28, 2013, in 2013] in the United States. It [Black Friday] can be one of the busiest shopping days of the year and a precursor to the Christmas shopping season in December. (Jack) [Segment interruption.] [To someone offscreen.] Hey, did someone go out to get footage of early-bird shoppers this year? [See: Black Friday campers, Black Friday early-bird shoppers.] (Jack) [Talking to someone offscreen.] Oh, that’s right; the car [mix-up, mentioned earlier on in the episode.] (Jack) [Talking to someone offscreen.] No? (Jack) [Talking to someone offscreen.] Someone forgot the tent? (Jack) [Talking to someone offscreen.] Okay, fair enough. (Jack) [Resumes segment.] Retailers have typically opened store doors earlier than usual [for Black Friday], at 5 or 6 a.m. [various time zones], until 2011, when retailers Target (TGT), Best Buy (BBY), Macy’s, Kohl’s (KSS) and Walmart (WMT) created a stir with plans to open doors as early as midnight. This year [2013], several retailers, including Toys ‘R’ Us, Sears, JC Penney (JCP), Best Buy (BBY), Kmart, Staples (SPLS), and Walmart (WMT) will just forego the wait until Black Friday [November 29, 2013, in 2013], and just stay open on Thursday [November 28, 2013, in 2013], or Thanksgiving Day. The plans have caused a backlash this year, as well, with hundreds of op-eds [opinion piece] on how retailers are commercializing Thanksgiving, similar to complaints about the commercialization of the Christmas holiday. Culturally, the move is controversial. On the other hand, when looking at the performance of several of the same retailers [named earlier on in the segment] this past year, the business reasoning is crystal clear – with several reporting lagging profit margins and earnings-per-share growth in the negative numbers, they’re [retailers] simply trying to give consumers more opportunity to come in on a long weekend – and shop. Online, meanwhile, retail giant Amazon (AMZN) is kicking off ‘Black Friday’ shopping opps [opportunities] even earlier, with a ‘Black Friday Deals Week,’ with selected ‘Black Friday’ deals posting at the [Amazon.com] site from November 25, 2013, through November 30, 2013. Links to several articles or op-eds [opinion pieces] on both issues are provided in the infobox for browsing. Aha, but – the turkey. (Jack) [Talking to everyone in the newsroom, or to someone offscreen.] Okay, ‘fess [confess] up. Who’s got the turkey? There’s a guy at the studio door here, waiting. With an axe. (Jack) [Bemused.] So – that’s weird. [As the turkey hunt through the studio continues, Marcel is shown in the dressing room.] Marcel: Run, George! (Marcel) It’s so dramatic. (Marcel) Bye-bye. (Jack) [Continuing.] Anyone? Turkey? (Jack) Anyone? (Marcel) Run, George! Run! (Marcel) Fly, be free! (Marcel) They’ll never take us alive! (Jack) [Bemused.] (Jack) [To himself.] I just… (Jack) [Shaking his head.] …don’t even know. (Jack) [Stoically resumes segment, despite the utter chaos.] And that’s today’s ‘Monkey Business.’ Take care, folks, and Happy Thanksgiving. [Jack and Marcel are shown sitting in the studio lounge.] Jack: Well, so eventually Grimsy showed up, then. (Marcel) Ah, oui (yes). He’s [Grimsy] delighted with his new pet. Grimsy brought some sandwiches and they’re [George and Grimsy] playing gin rummy [type of card game] in the break room. (Marcel) Nobody had the heart to kill George. Not even Grimsy. (Jack) [Mildly sardonic.] Not even the guy with the axe? (Marcel) Oh, he [the guy with the axe] was called away. There was a turkey emergency. Evidently there are turkeys running wild in Staten Island, New York, in the U.S. – have you heard? [Note: Link in infobox.] What are they doing there – – it’s like lunch on legs. There are feral turkeys in every tree, waving their tail feathers – [Marcel does a feral turkey impression, as commentary on the offbeat situation.] ‘Please eat me.’ (Jack) In a tree? (Marcel) Or, you know, going for a walk. Anyway, so, then – nobody needs to eat George. (Jack) Well, I guess they can have tofurkey. (Marcel) Tofurkey? C’est quoi ca? (What is that?) (Jack) Hmm. It’s kind of a…fake turkey. (Marcel) Eh, bien – they can have that. (Jack) Apparently it’s [tofurkey] popular with vegetarians. (Marcel) Then… …that’s what they get. (Jack) All’s well that ends well, I guess. (Jack) Except maybe for the brunch. (Jack) [Scanning the early Thanksgiving brunch laid out on the table; table is not shown onscreen.] I’m not sure this is exactly what anyone expected for an early Thanksgiving brunch. (Marcel) Eh, bien, but you know – everyone voted on it. (Jack) So I hear. (Marcel) It was unanimous. (Jack) Well, except for me. (Jack) I was busy… (Jack) …chasing a… (Jack) …turkey. (Jack) [Still bemused by the entire melodrama, but has cooled off enough by now to enjoy brunch.] But it’s okay. (Marcel) [Cheekily.] Eh, bien… …but you got the one without the anchovies. (Jack) Counting my blessings as we speak. (Marcel) [Cheerfully.] Happy Thanksgiving, Jack. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. (Jack) [Affectionately.] Happy Thanksgiving, Marcel. (Jack) [Philosophically, seeing the absurd humor of it all.] One for the books. [Note: Idiom – something unusual, record-breaking, remarkable.] (Marcel) More pizza? [Context: No one had the heart to kill George, so the entire crew voted to swap out pizza for Thanksgiving brunch, instead of the more traditional meal of turkey and mashed potatoes, etc.] [Sound: Jaunty music.] (Marcel) [To someone offscreen, who has offered him a brunch item.] Would I like what? [Pause.] (Marcel) [Continues talking to someone offscreen.] Pineapple? (Marcel) Pineapple and ham? [Marcel inspects the proffered slice of pizza. See: Hawaiian pizza] (Marcel) [Referring to the combination of pineapple and ham on a pizza slice.] On purpose? (Marcel) [Pauses to consider.] Mmmh, I don’t know. Are you sure it’s not tofurkey? [Sound: Jaunty music.]

2 Comments

  • Reply LostinSweden68 December 11, 2013 at 1:13 pm

    Run George run! Free the turkey!

  • Reply RiverRat2013 December 11, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    🙂 Happy Holidays:)

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