Articles, Blog

“Rice is Rice” | Jo Koy : Live from Seattle

October 15, 2019


I’m half white and half Filipino, that’s what I am… Which means my dad was in the military That’s not even a joke… That’s real shit A lot of soldiers were fighting for this country My dad was dating I’m his Purple Heart My dad would say borderline racist shit to me when I was a kid Borderline racist shit But I knew he was joking… It’s my dad Just sitting at the dinner table like… You now why I married your mom, right? Why…? Cuz I love Chinese food… She’s Filipino dad… Whatever… Rice is rice… What the fuck?! Rice is rice! That’s so racist! I’m not knocking what my mom had To do to get to America she… Fuck it, that’s her hustle That was her hustle God bless you mom! You hooked up with a soldier, had a kid in America God bless you mom! She did what she had to do… She could have hooked up with a Filipino and had a kid in the Philippines… You know how much a… a comedian makes in the Philippines? A chicken and flip flops! Fuck that… Fuck that, I don’t even like flip flops My mom was the shit My mom and dad divorced when… When I was like 10… 11 years old My mom had to raise us on her own She did that shit on her own… Tough as shit Sometimes a little too tough Like it was borderline illegal, but… It sucked… She never took us to the doctor My mom never took us to the doctor… My mom raised us like we were still in the Philippines She tried to cure everything at home… Like a real Filipino woman You had to die to go to the hospital… Shit… My mom cured everything with Vicks Vapor Rub Vicks Vapor Rub! I should have died 9 times when I was a kid! That’s abuse! There was one time, I thought I had pneumonia I go mom, I think I have pneumonia She goes ‘I’ll put extra Bicks on your body, Josep’ Just rub it everywhere, Josep Rub it on da bottom of da foot… And den put a sock on da foot And den the pneumonia will come out of da foot, Josep I’m just smothered in fucking Vicks I should have called the cops… One time I was so sick, I swear to God… True story I go mom, I don’t feel good… I can’t sleep I can’t sleep mom My mom took a finger… And stuck it in Vicks And rubbed it on top of my top of my eyelids On top of my eyelids! That shit burned so bad I go mom! It burns!! I can’t open my eyes! My mom goes ‘Well then you can sleep…’ Good night Josep… She didn’t give a shit Mean She never hit us… My mom never hit us She just scared us a lot She loved to curse… And she used to… flex, like that She used to do that shit! She brought that to America! Anyone that does this shit… Aye, my mom started that shit She did it to all of us You know how embarrassing that is? To get punked by a 4 foot 8 Asian woman? At the fucking mall Get out of da God damn Poot Locker Get out of the Poot Locker! I’m not even in the Foot Locker!! I used to cry… I used to cry and tell my mom, I go Mom, when I have kids… I’m never gonna do what you do to me… To my kids And my mom looked at me… I swear to God She put her hand on my shoulder And she goes Josep… Promise me, ok? Never have kids…

100 Comments

  • Reply Manuel Seminario July 27, 2019 at 12:09 am

    Shoot Filipino moms and Latino moms know the secret … Vapor rub for everything

  • Reply Garrison July 27, 2019 at 3:05 am

    Pag down na down nako sa family ko nanonood ako ng mga vids ni jokoy pangpa good vibes

  • Reply LunchBox July 27, 2019 at 8:02 am

    Rice is rice…holy fuckπŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Natalie Alfonso July 28, 2019 at 2:00 am

    Yep spanish ppl to use vapor rub as a cure hahaha

  • Reply triana - July 28, 2019 at 4:30 am

    As an indonesian, i can relate

  • Reply eva bella July 28, 2019 at 2:07 pm

    I am Filipina and i married an American guy. I'd love to have my own "Joseeep" someday. Vicks' ready πŸ˜€

  • Reply J D July 28, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    I hate Jo Koy. Half Flip yet every sentence he says has the word β€œFilipinos” in it. Lame.

  • Reply Romel Bautista July 28, 2019 at 8:42 pm

    That FLEX though πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

  • Reply shell shell July 29, 2019 at 2:47 am

    Vix vapor rub is common for everyone. Definitely in the midwest, my mom used it on us alllll of the time lol

  • Reply Kilani Gilliam July 29, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    Does anyone know the ending song?

  • Reply NinjatOrtles N July 29, 2019 at 11:20 pm

    the filipino comedian salary. hahaha chicken and flip flops. :))

  • Reply J B July 30, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Richard Michael July 31, 2019 at 9:24 am

    He loved Chinese food
    Flex-punking someone is the best ever
    Jo's stuff is golden

  • Reply Lorees Boyd July 31, 2019 at 6:19 pm

    Lol! Samoans do the same shit!!!! Cracking up.

  • Reply Wei Wei Bei July 31, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    YOU ARE GOLD!!!

  • Reply Clown of God August 1, 2019 at 4:01 am

    haha! the "vicks incident" is soo epic!! πŸ˜…

  • Reply Jesse Marcel August 1, 2019 at 9:03 am

    My native mom does the vapor rub on the foot and sock thing lol

  • Reply Leonardo Apolinario August 1, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    Vicks Vapor Rub I still use that hehe

  • Reply Mr. Derpy Face August 1, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    Boboh sell rice

  • Reply A VC August 2, 2019 at 12:01 am

    I'm willing to be gagged by jo koys dick..

  • Reply DeadPooL 1718 August 2, 2019 at 4:07 am

    When i was a kid Vicks is life hahahaha…..tama!?

  • Reply Tig Lilly August 3, 2019 at 1:37 am

    He was recommended on my YouTube. Finally, something I enjoy watching. Thank you Joseph, love your comedy! Makes this 56yr old happy before bed. I was raise to always never go to sleep mad.

  • Reply I'm thinking about a good username . . . August 3, 2019 at 8:22 am

    South Asian do the same with vix!

  • Reply Thom Lov August 3, 2019 at 9:32 am

    Badass intro music..

  • Reply Kid Chronic August 3, 2019 at 2:32 pm

    was that jo koys song at the last part of the vid?

  • Reply tawonga munyanduri August 3, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    "A chicken and flip flops"πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Ralph Capistrano August 4, 2019 at 7:02 am

    What the title of that song

  • Reply It'z me Mhariez August 4, 2019 at 7:07 am

    You are not funny you always make laugh about filipino culture..you can entertain people without humiliting others.this is bullying.!

  • Reply David Wizowski August 4, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Vicks or vaseline. Grandma or Lola's cure.

  • Reply sharde mckay August 4, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    I'm from the Caribbean and i have 3 jars of vick at my house

  • Reply Audio Now August 6, 2019 at 5:07 am

    I think he might of got that being dead to go to the hospital and the Vicks instead of Robitussin for every illness from Chris Rock.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrs9_EpSlyc

  • Reply deborah shine garcia August 6, 2019 at 5:54 am

    Just like my mom.. No need for doctors,she herself is the doctor.

  • Reply deborah shine garcia August 6, 2019 at 5:58 am

    My mom healed my ashtma by vicks!

  • Reply billiegirltoo August 7, 2019 at 9:10 am

    i really crush on jo. first of all i adore filipinos and second those green eyes KILL ME

  • Reply fRANK CENA August 8, 2019 at 3:50 am

    LoL I was born and raised in Philippines and this is pretty damn accurate πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Ronnie Vasquez August 8, 2019 at 4:58 pm

    Im dying laughing lol !! Pinoy na pinoy haha!!!

  • Reply Sam Rabanes August 9, 2019 at 12:59 am

    The content creator that I really want to watch because he is so funny and it really mirrors the customs of the Filipinos.

  • Reply Suzanne G August 9, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    Marry me!!

  • Reply Gina Flores August 10, 2019 at 12:10 am

    My mom is like that FILIPINO MOMS ARE SO FUNNY THATS WHY I AKWAYS LAUGH AT MY MOM

  • Reply Aaron Aquino August 10, 2019 at 11:51 pm

    That flex…lol

  • Reply J-Rider _23 August 11, 2019 at 5:52 am

    Tiger balm bro. That shit was the medicine

  • Reply Alexia Johnson August 13, 2019 at 10:23 pm

    I actually laughed

  • Reply Evelisis Davis August 14, 2019 at 3:32 am

    My Dad too !!!!

  • Reply Akoni Ah Yat August 14, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    Not funny at all.

  • Reply Akoni Ah Yat August 14, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    Where's Russell Peters

  • Reply Ella August 14, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    for everyone that doesn’t know philippines was colonized by spaniards so that’s why philippines and spain etc have similar things

  • Reply Killer B August 15, 2019 at 6:02 am

    Not funny

  • Reply t e r I N E E D L E R August 16, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    He reminds me of Howie Mandel. in both appearance and comic timing and content.

  • Reply chris burke August 16, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    dude i been hearing your voice since adam was on fm radio 2006 ish…keep up the good work. i pee myself now

  • Reply zen 25 August 17, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    Muslims parents are just lile your mom. Except they hit u… With anything next to them

  • Reply Ethan Cruz August 19, 2019 at 4:38 am

    I've realised that many minority groups have so much similarities

  • Reply Mary Sharmane Delos Reyes August 19, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    Filipinos are the best πŸ˜…

  • Reply tasneem gabier August 23, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    Hahaha. I put Vicks on my kids feet. Hahaha. I believe in the power of Vicks

  • Reply Cynthia Briones August 24, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    one of my favorite Jo Koy videos

  • Reply Trisha Abella August 25, 2019 at 10:24 am

    This one is so accurate!πŸ˜‚ I thought I was the only one thinking bout this. Vicks Vapor Rub is like a life extension for filipino momsπŸ’β€β™€

    Imagine everytime I got some headache my mom would say "Get the vicks and apply some on your forehead" or even coughs and cold, or even I get injured playing my sport-
    I was like "WOAHH REALLY MOM?? I need to see a doctor or else I will not be able to walk just because of that #VICKS of yours πŸ€¦β€β™€πŸ’β€β™€ but I love my mom!!πŸ₯°

    Ps. How I wish this Vicks thingy could also cure the pain I'm feeling in my heart lolπŸ™ŠπŸ˜©

  • Reply ezrah ella Cales August 25, 2019 at 11:33 am

    This is so accurate yet so funny. Hahahaha β€πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Wilbur Telmoso August 25, 2019 at 11:32 pm

    I love jo koy
    Im so proud of you men😁

  • Reply Lucy Lou August 26, 2019 at 4:26 am

    I guess us Mexicans are related to Philippino!! Either that or my mom has been lying on who's my dad πŸ€”πŸ€”

  • Reply Mendoza, Maria Angelika Nina August 26, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    VICKS is the weapon to everything…

  • Reply Cristopher Bohol August 27, 2019 at 6:53 am

    I am grateful to have you sir which you show everyone of what kind the filipinos are in the whole world. Hope you will continue to share a lot of video of who are the filipinos all about.

  • Reply Alwen Jay Basa August 27, 2019 at 9:23 am

    I was impressed every words that you speak it seems that your gifted comedian an unique.Because we know that your half filipino but your proud being filinpino comedian.

  • Reply Hesham Anwar August 27, 2019 at 3:09 pm

    You are so genius and funny.

  • Reply Paul Joshua Premacio August 28, 2019 at 11:26 am

    Vicks, it's basically a cure for everything in my mom's perspective haha

  • Reply Selma Shaeira Mae A. August 28, 2019 at 11:26 am

    Filipino moms really cares for their child:) there are two types of mom, the white mom and πŸ™‚
    (everything will be cure by "Vicks Vapor Rub")
    hahahaha:) πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  • Reply Kath August 28, 2019 at 5:06 pm

    That filipino mom accent is spot on 🀣🀣

  • Reply One Shot August 29, 2019 at 4:29 pm

    Sino pinoy dito

  • Reply On 2Wheels August 31, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    My Mom is a true FilAm, born in Stockton Ca from Immigrant farm worker parents in 1948. My Pop, immigrant from Ennis County Clare Ireland with granny and his two sisters to Los Angeles. He was 13.
    My Mom is a nurse and is the total opposite of Jo Koy's mom. My dad, he tried to cure us kids with LISTERINE!!!! Or rubbing a onion on our head! WTF!!!!
    My pop was a US Army officer in Vietnam, worked and went to night school for a masters in public administration. But when his kids got sick, he rubbed half a onion on our heads WTF!!! Hahahaha!

  • Reply Juan Carlos Fernandez September 3, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    This guy is hilarious

  • Reply Robert Vega September 4, 2019 at 12:57 am

    Well then you can sleep….good night Joseph lmfao

  • Reply BreeZ Place September 4, 2019 at 4:35 am

    Ahaha! Married to a half white half Filipino guy. Yep, Military dadπŸ˜‚

  • Reply Chinny Ramos September 4, 2019 at 7:21 am

    You’re funny! 🀣

  • Reply Angelique Dela Torre September 4, 2019 at 7:32 am

    Indeed, vicks really cures everything 😊

  • Reply d. allen spencer September 6, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    My pop was stationed in subic bay, navy so I feel you Joe

  • Reply Gino Lorenzo September 7, 2019 at 4:31 am

    I am surprised americans don't know pneumonia comes out the foot

  • Reply truebluekit September 7, 2019 at 7:12 am

    Damn, how rich the manufacturer of Vicks must be by now.

  • Reply Karina N September 8, 2019 at 4:35 pm

    I'm Indonesian, and my Mom loves Vicks Vaporub as well. I'm 34 now and I'm still looking for Vicks Vaporub or Salonpas everytime I got cold or ill. πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

  • Reply lowy maturingan September 8, 2019 at 11:26 pm

    Lol I love watching this

  • Reply Kyla Bellere September 12, 2019 at 5:58 am

    Good for you it was vics, because us it was katingko

  • Reply JohanOnTheRadio September 12, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    But a lot of Filipinos are funny af πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Working-mom101 Miss.L September 15, 2019 at 1:40 pm

    This is very funny. I watch this many times and i still laugh so bad. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ so proud that your proud to be pinoy… 😍😍😍

  • Reply Wayne Shakur September 17, 2019 at 4:26 am

    Joseph:mom i cnt sleep

    Mom:puts Vicks on top of my eyelid !

    Jospeh :mom i cant open my eyes

    Mom: well then you can sleep. goodnight joseppp!πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

  • Reply DAJOKER808 September 17, 2019 at 11:54 pm

    Andy if you watching this doesn’t he look like you ?

  • Reply Your Cat September 18, 2019 at 1:25 am

    his dad is rice-ist xD

  • Reply Sheena Senara September 18, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    Mg grandma forced us kids to eat the vicks when we have flu!

  • Reply Lisa S September 23, 2019 at 7:10 pm

    Which also means he was in the military…… that hit close to home man. LOL

  • Reply Joon Choi September 24, 2019 at 3:22 am

    I'm Korean American, and my mom used to smear toothpaste on my acne. Story of my childhood. It never worked btw.

  • Reply Mari Liptrot September 24, 2019 at 10:03 am

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I'm in stitches!!!

  • Reply thicky September 24, 2019 at 12:15 pm

    this is something that never gets addressed. but is a mixed white other then become white. cause t seems like every mixed blak is still black. every asiatic white mix is what?

  • Reply Bridget Anderson September 24, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    I’m watching this as I eat adobo πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply gunfuego September 26, 2019 at 6:35 am

    not that funny….

  • Reply BlueStrings134 September 27, 2019 at 12:36 am

    Mexican = Filipinos cheap asses phukk vicks!!!!

  • Reply Not Kgeezz September 27, 2019 at 10:40 pm

    bruh this funny and relatable asf

  • Reply HempKnight2112 September 29, 2019 at 4:30 am

    This guy and I have the same exact life. Except she became lesbian after the divorce. My mom once made me eat condensed chicken noodle soup with no added water….I puked all the rug that every Asian family has…the pink one with frills and flowers…I've never been told how much I dishonor my whole family that many times for one incident.

  • Reply Haseeb Amin October 6, 2019 at 9:45 am

    Rice is rice!!??
    That's Indeed ricest

  • Reply cigar FMFDoc October 6, 2019 at 4:40 pm

    Haha 4 ft 8. My stepmom is 4 ft 10 but swears up and down she is pive foot

  • Reply Rudy Villarreal October 7, 2019 at 2:58 am

    You need new jokes ever time the same jokes over and over. Yes their funny but I’d like to here something new from you.

  • Reply Sonia Estrada October 7, 2019 at 12:37 pm

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Sonia Estrada October 7, 2019 at 12:38 pm

    For a sec throught u had a Mexican mom

  • Reply Jay Tea October 13, 2019 at 3:02 am

    When I was maybe 6 or 7 I had the flu and my Filipina grandmother microwaved some Vicks rub, poured it on a plate with a couple of rocks on it, and told me to sniff it until I was better.

  • Reply Crunchy curnchstix October 13, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Rice is rice πŸ˜‚

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