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RANT: “Ashamed” of Corsets, Bodily Autonomy | Lucy’s Corsetry

January 18, 2020


Hi everybody this video is partially inspired by day, 27 of 30 days of corsets in which they ask Do I tend to wear my corsets on the outside of my clothing or wear it stealth and it’s also partially inspired by a blog post that I made about six or seven years ago that For some reason or another I never actually made into a video. It was only ever an article. So I’m amending that now. and the title of my article is called “Why would I hide my corsets?” because at the time I was making a lot of “outfit of the day” (OOTD) and “dressing with your corset” style videos and I was also teaching people how to hide your corset laces and how to stealth your corsets underneath certain types of clothing, if you don’t want other people to know that you’re waist training and Some people thought that was almost a little bit like a waste of a waist, you know like they think that, or at least at the time, they thought that if you were wearing a corset Why wouldn’t you just show off the fact that you are waist training? Why would you want to hide a small waist if people are trying to train their waist in the first place to achieve the small waist? And really what it all comes down to is what you do with your body is really nobody else’s business. if it makes you happy then it makes you happy. but just kind of like somebody is wearing really pretty underwear on a certain day or Somebody gets a nipple piercing or somebody gets a tattoo on their butt They don’t necessarily go out in public and show everybody You know? These newly-acquired things that make them feel good about themselves It might put a bounce in your step. But really at the end of the day, it’s something that you do for yourself It’s not something necessarily to attract attention or to show everybody and anybody. Now I’ve mentioned this numerous times before but I don’t train my waist anymore. I haven’t waist trained in five years since my car accident I’ll put the video up in the cards and down in the description below because every time I mention this somebody asks me why But back when I did waist train I almost always stealthed my corsets underneath clothing. If I’m going out and running errands, I’m going to the bank the post office the grocery store wherever And I’m wearing a corset, it’s almost always under my clothing, because it really is nobody else’s business. I really don’t want to be stopped and interrogated by 30 different people playing a game of 20 questions having to justify my life choices. And it’s kind of the same with my long hair as well. And I am forever grateful to Torrin Paige here on YouTube for teaching me how to do the Nautilus bun because then I can throw my long hair up in a bun in like less than 10 seconds flat and It saves me from having to answer the same questions over and over again from people who will ask me You know, why do I wear it long? Is it for religious reasons? Don’t I ever feel like cutting and styling it and getting like a real Hairstyle or feeling more pretty about it? Do I grow it out for attention? Am I hiding it? Why can’t I just look like a normal person? Am I hiding behind my hair due to some sort of like Insecurity or trauma in the past? Does it make my head hurt? Does it drain my energy? Like literally somebody asked me if my hair is like an energy vampire and it’s sucking away my life force. Am I able to wash it and brush it and braid it and style it by myself, or do I always need somebody else to do it for me? Etc, etc. Etc. The questions don’t end! And for every one of those questions I get about my hair, I also get like an equivalent type of question regarding my corsets, like: why do I wear my corsets? Am I some kind of anti-feminist? Why can’t I just dress down and look normal? Why am I doing this for attention? Am I compensating for some kind of like body dysmorphia or some sort of insecurity or trauma from a younger age? Can I breathe? Does it hurt? Am I dying? Am I already dead? (Only on the inside) Can I lace and unlace my corset by myself? Or do I have to have somebody else at all times to help me with that sort of thing? And is it really my choice? and I suppose this is the beauty of having a youtube channel because I’m able to take each of those questions and Calmly and rationally answer them. And then anytime somebody asks me the same question over and over again I can just copy and paste the link to that video And I understand that while it might be my 200th time Answering the same question over and over again, it might just be that one person’s first time asking that one question because they’ve never come across it before. I completely acknowledge that. At the same time it is EXHAUSTING and just because my appearance happens to fall outside of the standard deviation of what you consider to be the norm it doesn’t mean that other people are entitled to all of my time. Another parallel I have experienced between wearing corsets and having long hair is that people also tend to feel entitled to touch me And that is a no-go. Do not touch my hair. Do not touch my waist. No touchy No, no long hair is not consent, corsets are not consent I did not ask for anybody to put their hands on me And as you can see in this video I have deliberately chosen not to wear a corset and I am deliberately wearing my hair up, (even though I could easily put on a corset and let down my hair) but hiding my corset and putting my hair up does not necessarily mean that I am Ashamed of these things. It’s just a case of bodily autonomy. Today was a type of day that I didn’t feel like wearing a corset and I wanted some air on the back of my neck So I decided to wear my hair up. I also think this hairstyle is kind of pretty with the dress I’m wearing so you know, I like a change. but just like I said about somebody getting a tattoo or a piercing or any other type of body modification It really is all about bodily autonomy. What you want to do for yourself. Sometimes I just want to go about my day and not have to constantly Defend all the hows and whys of my appearance and my personal taste. I should be allowed to exist in the public space without being Interrogated or grabbed inappropriately, and it is tiring. So it sucks that when I am going out in public I feel compelled to hide these parts of myself But on the other hand, just as I have chosen to wear my hair long and I have chosen to wear corsets It is also my choice when I do and don’t want to display this in public So it is a little bit ironic that I will tend to Not show my corsets and not show me long hair when I am going out running errands in public around other people But on the other hand I will go on to YouTube and make a video of myself in corsets and show my long hair on a very public platform that invariably reaches like millions more people than I would meet in everyday life But just as I said in the past, it would be weird to have, say, a show about zoo animals without ever showing animals It would be weird to have like a cooking show without ever showing any food So I have a channel where I tend to focus on corsets occasionally long hair and other things and so it would be weird to have a Channel all about corsets if I literally like never showed corsets And I also love to support and promote many of my corsetiere friends They are so talented and so skilled. Why wouldn’t I want to show off their wearable art? So in that sense, it’s almost like my waist is a canvas and I’m able to display their amazing work But the best part about YouTube is that even though it is a very public platform, at the end of the day I am sitting here alone in my room talking to a camera and so YouTube allows moderation of comments so I can just delete people who want to harass me and Nobody can reach through the screen and grab me. So even though YouTube is a very public global platform it is also a very controlled domain where I feel safe to be myself. And like I said in a previous video there are special occasions where I love to wear my corsets on the outside of my clothing and show them off, even when I do go out around other people so the Galas and the corset balls and the weddings and conventions (if I ever make my way back to a convention at some point) and Halloween and whatnot So there are definitely times that I do go out in public and I meet other people in person Where I am wearing my corset and I do get questions, but not quite as many Because everybody else is dressed up nicely and it’s not like people go out in their prom dress every single day either But like I said in day 20 of “30 Days of Corsets” There are some people out there who see every single day as an occasion to dress up and be their best version of themselves So if that is you absolutely your prerogative I think that’s amazing you do you I’ll be over in the corner disguised as frump girl because I don’t want anybody to recognize me but I’ll be cheering you silently from that corner. So in conclusion, not everybody who wears their corsets on the outside of the clothing are necessarily attention-seeking exhibitionists and not everybody who stealths their corset underneath their clothing are necessarily ashamed of it But I would love to hear from you and your experiences. So if you have ever been harassed either online or in person about The clothing you wear or your natural hair or any other part of your appearance whether you chose that particular appearance through body modification or if it was natural to you, I would love to hear your experiences so comment down below If you’re comfortable sharing, you can talk about what the other person has said or done to you in their judgement And I would also really be curious to know what you said to them in rebuttal to shut down their argument I’m sure many other people would be curious to read your experiences as well because this is a time where people feel so entitled to touch or to harass people Who just tend to look a little bit different. And so the more people who are willing to share their experiences and give tips and tricks on how to discourage an appropriate behavior from strangers I think the better off we’ll all be and it might help us feel a little bit safer to be ourselves So leave your comments down below and thank you so much for watching to the end of this rather long video But I hope you enjoyed it and I will see you all next week for another video

85 Comments

  • Reply Lori Crichton November 13, 2019 at 5:07 pm

    I've not gotten much negativity about how I dress or my corsets, but unless I'm with my husband I purposely put on a "dont fuck with me" attitude. I wear long skirts, a modified Edwardian pattern, and people notice those before much else and the comments are usually curious about where I got them. When I lived in Oklahoma, I was called "the goth that worked at X credit Union". Now, in a big city in PacNW, I'm more anonymous. Its really only when I got ALL out with dressing up that anyone comments.
    I've kept my hair shorter than I did 9 years ago (but after frying it, its not grown back as dense) so i dont get many comments about it at all anymore.

  • Reply Kitty Mortensen November 27, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    I absolutely get this A LOT, always did. So corsets became my way of owning it. I mostly stealth because I find that people are less inclined to be evasive about it when it is used as an undergarment. At least in person. It makes it easier for me to keep the convo rolling with peace and love ❤️

  • Reply Polly Girl November 27, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    I am glad your car accident didn't kill you ( no pun intended ) , i've been in many myself. Without the advice you have given i would not have gotten into corsetry myself. Thank you so much.

  • Reply Gabrielle Marsden November 27, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    I usually stealth because of unwanted attention I wish that corsets were more normal than high heels because I can’t wear them comfortably! I have stopped training because it is a hassle dealing with unwanted attention, I mean, it’s just a small thing but it accumulates. If I ever get my old rock band together from 30 years ago, I might go very public!

  • Reply Athena Xtra November 27, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    It's definitely a shame that people cannot exist outside of a contemporary mold without being scrutinized, judged, harassed, interrogated, etc. Society is pretty irritating in that way, god forbid someone wants to express themselves freely, and just exist how they choose to or how they were born for that matter. It's sad, the amount that humans are forced to conform to whatever is "normal" for a given period.

  • Reply Ang Tan November 27, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    I stealth my corsets during my work as a psychologist because a part of the patients who think a corset is something out of a kink scene and this could possibly interfere with the treatment/perception of me. I am not ashamed or or hide it from my peers. It's just not that common around here and perceived differently.

  • Reply Goaden Homestead November 27, 2019 at 8:12 pm

    3:00 my hair is as long, and yes i know all those comments about my hair.

  • Reply BJ. Roberts November 27, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    I really know what your talking about… being a guy and wearing a corset….I actually like the feel of security in wearing a corset as well as the benefits that go along with wearing a corset….and I HAVE TO STEALTH or I will get harassed in many different ways as apposed to what a woman would… even when I did hide I would still get poked to see if I was wearing my corset….Hhhaaa…. Thank you for putting it out there

  • Reply Susie Bear33 November 27, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    I'm anti-feminist lol deal with it!

  • Reply Hannah Evans November 27, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    It's amazing how much people seem to think that looking different to "normal" means your boundaries don't matter. I'm a very pale white girl with blonde hair, but my hair used to be afro because of my West Indian heritage, and even though I got it relaxed it's still the same texture, so I get shit from both sides, because no my hair doesn't LOOK like typical afro hair (whatever you take that to mean) but it's also not the same texture as the girls who try to give me tips on how I should style my hair.
    And touching, oh my God touching. It's not so bad with my hair now, but as a kid it was really bad. Oh, and my scars. Do. Not. Touch. My. Scars. This has been a PSA.
    The best way to deal with it, I find, is either just start answering yes or no in a really bored way, so for example my "friend" would always make comments about me covering up my cuts, I just learned to say "ok, whatever you say, sure thing" on repeat until she shut up. If they're accusatory I find a good old fashioned "I BEG your pardon" combined with a cold look to be good, or if they seem polite but they're making you uncomfortable I might say "please don't touch" or "I'd rather not discuss this topic". Ultimately, all you need for a rebuttal is just the knowledge that you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, if you're not hurting anyone then they have no right to make you ashamed or challenge you, so ultimately if they're rude remember there's nothing wrong with telling them to go fuck themselves.

  • Reply Jack Griffin November 27, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    I’m a fashion student in Paris and the only time I’ve worn a corset in public was this past Halloween where I wore a black silk dupioni underbust corset with external boning channels and and cording in the hip pieces. I got quite a bit of attention, one because I was able to reduce my waist pretty dramatically, and second I’m a guy. Quite a bit of people were grabbing my waist and asking if it hurt, but nothing bad happened everyone I encountered was pretty friendly. I want to do it more often, but now that Halloween is over I might get weird looks.

  • Reply SabethRavenwing November 27, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    I'm a bit surprised you have had so many issues. I do normally stealth to me they are like a bra, and it isn't always appropriate to have it visible. I also tend to wear mine for boob and back support, I don't waist train.
    Most of the time when I wear mine out the most I get is compliments on how pretty my corset is and were did I get it. Sometimes I end up having to explain the difference between wearing a cheap off the rack corset that doesn't fit and one made for your body. For me it turns into a teaching moment and sending people to our local corset maker. I don't think I've had anyone touch me because of the corset, you just don't do that sort of thing. Maybe it is a difference in location?

  • Reply Marisa S November 27, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    lol literally me "so does this mean you also get annoyed by cookbooks that don't have pictures?" LOLOL Why does my brain work this way!?!?!!
    I live in a smallll town and I know a girl who wears corsets and very edgy things to the bar and stuff regularly. I don't go to the bar but she posts pictures. She is absolutely beautiful and an amazing mom. I wish I had her confidence to go out in public the way she does. My introverted side always wins… I have been asked about my hair many times because it is not dyed and it goes down to my butt. I tend to just retort with "why do you cut and dye yours?" I don't even care if I sound rude at that point anymore, it's as valid a question as theirs is to me! For a long time, I only wore dresses or skirts, a lot of people thought it was religious reasons, esp since my hair is long, but the fact was, I just have a sensitive stomach and maxi skirts didn't hurt me! Now that leggings are acceptable as clothing and can be styled well I tend to wear a lot of them. I do have a few pairs of jeans as well that don't hurt if I am not wearing them for many many hours. Ppl need to stop judging and accept that we are stewards of our own bodies and that our reasons do NOT need to be explained or justified. No one asks a 3-year-old if she is insane when they are wearing a princess gown in Walmart, or a hippo costume, or dressed as a superhero, then one day, you hit a certain age and dressing in a gown in Walmart makes ppl think ur nuts.
    In many ways, fashion seems to be a lose-lose regardless of who you are. As a Canadian, I see lots of news about Kate Middleton. One day, the royals are being attacked for being frivolous and raising issues with greenhouse gases and global warming, then the next day, they are attacking Kate for wearing the same outfit more than once, or the same jacket. I am sure that this reused outfit thing is really started by designers who are eagerly waiting to make the next fast fashion piece based on what Kate is wearing though. The world is crazy esp when it comes to fashion 🙁

  • Reply The Edwardian Writer November 27, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    I’ve never worn my corset over my clothes, partially because my clothing aesthetic is already pretty Edwardian/Victorian so it feels odd to wear it over, and further I just feel really weird about wearing a corset outside of my clothes. I also have classic length hair that I wear up 90% of the time, but it’s too thin for anybody to try to grab or give comment beyond “wow your hair is long”. But I definitely get the feeling like a specimen. People have mistaken me for somebody who’s religious so I’ve learnt to not wear only black and white/grey, and wear earbuds and walk fast to avoid being noticed by other people. And sometimes being stared at really sucks. But being comfortable in my own clothing is something I really value, and feels super freeing to wear something that doesn’t feel like a “modern person” costume. And also the fact that the corset alleviates back pain has rocked my world

  • Reply Dreamer November 27, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    Hi Lucy , I loved this video !! So so true , your body — your life !! People have never noticed when I wear a brace or corset because it is always behind a shirt , but if needed to be outside , then you are so very right. Ones body is and should always a 'no touch' and don`t ask stupid questions !! Some people just don`t get it , they can`t imagine anyone being so open and free with there life. They are losing !! , No matter what anyone does with there body is there biz !! Life choices , living free and proud , living beyond boundaries with boundaries in fair play for the individual choosing to live a happy life !! Bravo ++ , thanks for the video and Happy Day of Thanks !! , take care , Gary 

  • Reply Jade Day November 27, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    I usually stealth because I use mine like a back brace for pain but I have worn it out a bit and gotten many looks and comments from people. I live in a small rural town and people are very opinionated about what is "normal" and how others should dress and act in public. I am lucky that I am rather large (5'11", 200lbs) with RBF so most people don't bother me but there have been a few that couldn't keep their mouths shut. I can usually ignore it and just walk passed but I have been known to talk back when I get fed up or my children are with me and don't need to listen to such negativity. I love your channel and all your knowledge and I hope for the most part people are polite and keep their hands to themselves around you.

  • Reply Heather Kreisher November 27, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    When people try to bad mouth my choice to wear a corset, I tell them to do their research before the judge. Usually if they turn out to really be interested I send them to your YouTube and to OC. Keep being an inspiration for others! (By just being you)

  • Reply Janice V November 27, 2019 at 10:58 pm

    I really don't see the logic of the "a corset goes to waste if you stealth it"-argument like.. I specifically wear my corset under certain outfits because it creates a silhouette that makes them look really nice? That's literally the original point of a corset, historically women would almost never wear it just over their clothes as far as I'm aware

  • Reply Rowan McNally November 27, 2019 at 11:20 pm

    I don't stealth typically. I don't feel any need to, unless the outfit looks better with it under. I've only had people ask where I got it and if it's comfortable.

    I've had long hair most of my life and I've definitely experienced people thinking it's ok to touch my hair because of that. One time a guy grabbed my braided ponytail and yanked me back (had I not been at work, I'd have punched him). I turned around and very aggressively told him never to touch me. He tried to argue he touched my hair, not me. I told him my hair is part of me, and he is not to touch any part of me, ever, without my permission. He backed off after that.

    Now, I have locks (or dreadlocks as they're commonly called). This is the one thing that gets me the most unwanted attention. People have called me dirty and ugly, online and in person. People assume I do drugs. People try to touch them. People ask if I can wash my hair and how I made it look like this. I've been watched and followed by store employees, I assume because they think I'm going to steal something. TSA has a habit of "randomly" selecting people with locks for full searches. I've been denied jobs I'm more than qualified for because of my hair, even if I offer to cover it. But I've also never loved my hair before now, it makes me feel like me. So I'll take it. I can get a tiny glimpse of what it's like to exist as a PoC in the U.S. this way I suppose. So, I answer rude questions as nicely as I can, with the hope I can maybe dispel a few myths in the process.

  • Reply Roger Knights November 27, 2019 at 11:42 pm

    Your comment at 4:35 on not liking your corseted torso being poked by curious strangers  brought to mind what Rena wrote about that issue in her wonderful “Journal” on the LISA site at http://www.staylace.com/textarea/rena/_rena3.htm. (Her Journal begins at http://www.staylace.com/textarea/rena/_rena.htm). Here’s the excerpt: 

    “During my first job interview I had dressed in a formal female business suit, a dark blue jacket, blouse and a skirt well below the knee. The various loose layers, as I was accustomed to wear, prevented direct observation of the presence of the corset, but a 21″ waist on a 5′4″ frame is still an eye catcher, without wearing ‘tight’ clothing. The nipped waist of the jacket commanded sufficient attention.  I recall quite vividly how the interviewer’s gaze kept drifting to the center of my jacket, and looking ‘caught’ whenever eye contact was regained. Surprisingly I did not make me feel uncomfortable, I think I enjoyed the tease. 
    …………….
    “When I was given the tour of the offices I felt a hand touch the small of my back every time we would pass through a doorway or enter the elevator. In earlier years I would always have moved away, perhaps as an attempt to hide the presence of stays and laces, but when wearing a corset for several years, you don't really think about it any longer in the same way. It becomes like a watch, earrings, or glasses – you know it's there but you feel incomplete without it. There is not the same self consciousness that you feel in the beginning, convinced that everyone will notice it and consider you a freak. When fashion required corsets, the reverse was true. So, it is nothing more than a mindset.

    “In general, I do not think it is appropriate to be ‘touch-scanned’ in this manner, hence I do make a comment when it bothers me. ‘I’m fine, thank you’ is usually sufficient, as the fellow will usually know exactly what is being commented on, and a blush is returned.”

  • Reply Standardbred Adventures November 27, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    Have been seeing nasty comments underneath advertising for shapewear on Instagram. It occurs to me that some people just like writing nasty things. I thought that one of the bonuses of very long hair was the option for elaborate updos. Have had someone try to pull my hair off my head because she thought it was a wig. She yanked really hard.

  • Reply Sapphire Girl November 27, 2019 at 11:51 pm

    Yeah like what is up with people grabbing me at the waist when they see I'm wearing a corset? Why is this a thing? Also know I don't breathe I'm a vampire LOL

  • Reply Kara Molnar November 27, 2019 at 11:53 pm

    So far I only received compliments from strangers and questions about the place I purchased them from. I guess was lucky…so far. You are making very good and informative videos! Thank you! 🙂

  • Reply Janelle Aleff November 27, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    I loved this soooo much! 😆🤩 Thank you thank you for this!

  • Reply IanPerez85 November 28, 2019 at 12:09 am

    While one can't really call them representative, my experiences when visibly wearing my corset in public have largely been positive, to the point where I've begun to suspect that masculinity is still more of an asset than a liability when it comes to avoiding negative interactions. Sure, corsets on people who read as dudes may raise more eyebrows than they might on people who read as women, but perhaps not enough to override male privilege. Then again, perhaps those positive experiences are entirely due to location–people in Chicago and NY are already prone to letting other people be, no matter what they're doing, and I have a fairly good instinct for when and when not to make waves.

    In any case, that lack of negative experiences sort of makes me wish that more people did, indeed, approach me. How else am I going to get to talk about corsets? The online communities are great, but that's different.

  • Reply Sierra Larars November 28, 2019 at 2:08 am

    I use my corsets as a foundation undergarment so like a bra or fancy underwear I wouldn’t wear them as outerwear under any circumstances 😅 any time I say I’m wearing one I also get the whole ‘don’t wear that too often or you’ll hurt yourself’ 😑 when wearing one for posture correction while sewing is such a breeze!

  • Reply Laura McMaster November 28, 2019 at 2:30 am

    As a natural redhead, people have always felt entitled to my hair. Ever since I was old enough to talk about it, strangers have told me what I can or can't do with my hair ("you are not allowed to ever dye it!"), have touched and gushed about it… Even when it is complementary, it is exhausting. Then as I approached puberty came the worst part… The inappropriate questions. "Does the carpet match the curtains?" "Are you a wink natural redhead?"

    Depending on how it's asked, I have a few responses. Probably my favorite is just spotlighting the offender: "Did your parents teach you that asking girls about the color of their pubic hair made for good conversation?"

  • Reply torrinpaige November 28, 2019 at 2:37 am

    Smokin' hot today, Luc! I am LOVING sassy you. Yes, ma'am.

    Weirdly, I always figured you (corset wearing folks at large) wore your corsets under your clothes unless they were chosen specifically for an outfit for stylish or fashion purposes. Not once did I think stealthing would be something that indicated shame. A corset simply wrangles your body into the shape you want either for your outfit or peace of mind. Some people are so silly.

    Also? Thank you for choosing a good picture of me. Lol. I REALLY appreciate it. 💜💜💜

  • Reply Jerry Erway November 28, 2019 at 3:42 am

    I learned through my public speaking class that having a corset on actually helps calm my nerves a bit and slows me down when I speak. I Found out quite by accident when I gave an informative speech on Corsetry and laced myself up while delivering my talk. So I wore it again although stealthed this time when I did a tribute to Fakir Musafar. I was amazed at the open mindedness of my classmates and their questions they did ask were typical of what you describe in this video. I was fine answering them in an educational setting but I can’t imagine dealing with that level of curiosity on a daily. Thank goodness no one has laid hands on me (big personal bubble here), but I thank that also has to do with the fact I’m a guy. Sad but true. Happy healthy holidays to you. Xoxo
    Jerry

  • Reply Morgan Donner November 28, 2019 at 4:08 am

    I love the FIRE in your video today! I wish I could like this a hundred times 👍👍👍👍

  • Reply Piper Woodard November 28, 2019 at 4:09 am

    Your earrings are so lovely! Where did you find them?

  • Reply C. Tay November 28, 2019 at 4:48 am

    Only on the inside tee hee

  • Reply Cabelo November 28, 2019 at 5:23 am

    How is your hair? Big at the ankle?

  • Reply Annalisa Kite November 28, 2019 at 6:06 am

    I have long hair too. People are weird – they almost have a fetish about it. I get called Rapunzel sometimes.

  • Reply Marjo Kei November 28, 2019 at 7:26 am

    This hurts close to home. As you know I want to be a longhair, too. My SO does not like long hair. I have asked him to try to like it because it's important to me, but it doesn't work. Whenever I ask what he thinks of ky hair, or an updo, he says he doesn't like the length. And I know hair is of me and for me, but especially after 2 pregnancies I want to look pretty for my spouse. So, I did cut it. From hip to not even shoulder blade length with layers. It's well done, it suits me, it looks nice. But 1) he hasn't even noticed and 2) I miss my hair. Even though my facial features are so much better suited for shorter hair.

    I am now in mourning.

  • Reply P Heart November 28, 2019 at 7:44 am

    All this fuss about someones choice of underwear. I'm hand sewing my first homemade corset at the moment. And to think my first thoughts when I go out wearing it will probably not be "I feel gorgeous", but "I hope noone notices!" Nobody has a right to verbally harass a person in the street for any reason so trivial. People should mind their own business!

  • Reply 结缘猫 November 28, 2019 at 9:56 am

    stealth…mast stealth…because i am man……

  • Reply Dai Sanders November 28, 2019 at 10:47 am

    The majority of my corsets and stays are made for historical clothing which I do wear in the everyday out and about. So when I get asked the questions it's a whole bombardment of queries. Some nice and genuine in their quest to understand, others not so much. The most common being: why? I get touched many times to see if "I really am in a corset". Much batting of their hands away and telling them that looking is free but touching will cost.

  • Reply Shewany November 28, 2019 at 11:37 am

    I have very fluffy hair and that tempts a lot of people to just go up and touch it.. If they ask I let them most of the time but I find it really intrusive if then just touch me and get in my personal space.

    For that same reason i stelath my corsets though I prefer them as underwear anyway.

  • Reply DEATHRACERCHEVY November 28, 2019 at 2:33 pm

    At first I didn't like wearing my corsets in public, simply because a lot of comments I was getting were either plain rude, or seemingly disingenuous to me. A lot "can you breathe", "why do you want a small waist" "why do you want to hurt yourself" and etc. Eventually, I just decided that it wasn't worth me agonizing and worrying what other people thought I should dress like and said F it. I wore one of my favorite corsets for my birthday to a public place for my birthday, and got a handful of compliments of people excited about the look, the style and maybe even wanting to purchase one of their own. It was so good to finally let go of all that and just have the ability to do what I wanted with my body.

  • Reply Monika Bredesen November 28, 2019 at 3:06 pm

    I loved the rant!

  • Reply Emmelly November 28, 2019 at 5:09 pm

    I used to stealth my corsets, but would wear them on occasion over my clothing, but it would be a black corset over a black outfit so you wouldn’t really see it. But those that did know I was wearing a corset would shame me into trying to take it off in front of them! I’ve had two women corner me and rapid fire questions/comments about me wearing my corset. Like chill out! I’m wearing it because I like it and it’s really comfortable for me. I don’t have to justify anything to anyone.

  • Reply Isabel Perry November 29, 2019 at 12:02 am

    I get comments pretty much any time I leave the house. Usually politely curious, sometimes positive, and occasionally negative. Generally I don't mind chatting about things I like, such as my corsets and piercings, but I'm also pretty well able to be firm and end conversations when I need to. The questions actually don't bother me as much as the fearful/weirded out glances I sometimes receive.

  • Reply Andromeda West November 29, 2019 at 12:31 am

    Corsets were originally underwear intended to create a silouhette once dressed so why should you show it?

  • Reply wildmntflower November 29, 2019 at 1:27 am

    Thanks for this video, it's really cathartic. Bodily autonomy!!

    My only question is why so many people think they can ask so many questions!

  • Reply Mali Cia November 29, 2019 at 4:19 am

    I'm a fat, hourglass shaped, with big boobs. I got regularly harrased since I was 13.
    Starting to wear black and dying my hair unnatural colours even reduced harassment. I guess they are afraid of goths. 😂
    Since I have a 16" hipspring naturally, I don't waist train. I just wear them as a statement piece, when I go out sometimes.
    I consider wearing them more often because I realised they relieve my back and shoulders, but since I wear them just occasionally, lacing myself still takes quite long and I usually ruin my nails.

  • Reply kevlarandchrome November 29, 2019 at 4:37 am

    Unfortunately people being crappy and not able to just leave people the hell alone seems to be a persistent problem across time. I really think that it's a trait genetically hardcoded into a segment of our species. Let me explain how I've come to this conclusion; I'm 42, male, and have been a bit on the non-conforming side (metalhead, goth, hair to my butt when I was younger, clothes from women's and men's departments) since my early teens. I've gotten inappropriate commentary, questions, and touching from every demographic in the population. This includes both sexes, all ages and races. I've never been able to find a pattern with it, except that they have all been humans (at least that I'm aware of, could be some cleverly disguised aliens in there), and I just think it's a part of how our species deals with novelty. Damned if it doesn't get annoying though.

  • Reply darksunnygirl November 29, 2019 at 5:43 am

    I had hair long enough to sit on until I cut it last year and I totally feel you about the strange questions from strangers. The best was being asked what would happen if someone cut my hair without my consent… I told them I would probably punch them in the face and they were shocked 😂 I actually got more questions AFTER I cut my hair (mid back because of lots of damage). If something is different others will comment on it.

  • Reply Alex M. November 29, 2019 at 5:52 am

    I don’t understand why people can’t just mind their own business! I have very visible tattoos on my arms, I naturally have a very curvy body type, smaller waist and big butt and it seems to be easy for strangers to ask me what my tattoos mean or ask me how much my butt cost….I mean wtf?? I don’t answer questions like that, and I certainly don’t allow anyone close enough to try to touch my butt or tattooed parts of my body..but I still don’t understand why people feel to the need to comment, ask or touch. I can look at someone in a random place that has a totally different look than me and NOT say a word to them! Its easy! Or if I do talk to them, say something normal and not ask about why they look a certain way! It’s not my business why they look the way they do. If they choose to tell me that’s cool I’m open to talk about whatever but I would never go out of my way to ask someone questions about why they look the way they do. Just live and let live. Everyone should just get along and respect each other. Simple as that.

  • Reply Hardeyore Davis November 29, 2019 at 7:25 am

    Hi Lucy. Please I need help. I'm new to corseting and I'm not sure I'm doing it right. My corset pokes me as it sit so I lean back to avoid that. The space at the back too…the bones with the grommets are not parallel too. I'm a bit frustrated and I really don't want to stop. I'm still seasoning though. Was wondering if we could have a video call so you can see if it's okay. I sent a message on Instagram, please respond there so we can talk. Thank you!

  • Reply Rhonda Tucker November 29, 2019 at 7:28 am

    I have had my hair almost long enough to walk on and got so sick and tired of people trying to touch it. I got to the point of slapping the hands that found there way to my hair without permission.

  • Reply Emily Morris November 29, 2019 at 10:12 am

    I have been very lucky in that people who have wanted to touch my corset waist or long hair have pretty much always asked the first time, and that I would have been fine even if they didn't ask because I have the personal bubble of a very friendly puppy. But I typically stealth unless I'm comfortable with the crowd who'd be seeing the corset in action, and the crowd who usually see the corset skew younger and are almost always involved in theater or drag, so I think that performance arts and ones that involve dance in particular tend to help people develop a sense of when it is or isn't appropriate to touch someone, and young people are generally being better educated about personal boundaries. I don't usually hide my hair length, but my hair isn't otherwise fantastic enough to be that interesting or tempting for potential touchers, so on the rare occasion someone wants to play with my hair, it's almost always a young child or someone who's interested in hairdressing.

  • Reply Mmy Moon November 29, 2019 at 11:32 am

    YES. As someone else with Very Long Hair and often daily corsets (on the compression-medical end, but with enough spring measurements people assume I'm waist training) SO MANY QUESTIONS. ALL THE QUESTIONS.

    The magic of a bun and stealth means not having this same conversation again!

  • Reply katelyn dionne November 29, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    am i dead – only on the inside- hahahahhahahaha i love you so much lucyyyy!!!!!!!! corset for yourself always! 💙💚💙💚💙💚

  • Reply Les Rose November 29, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    I completely understand. I a guy that likes wearing corsets. I have to hide them because of the questions why.. Even my wife is all that crazy about it. I wear them because of the comfort they give me and they make me feel better, help with my anxiety,
    help with my posture, my Psoriatic arthritis that is going up my spine. Its very annoying that I just can't be myself without fear of being ridiculed.

  • Reply Lady Locket November 29, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    I never understood why this is an issue, do people just assume corsets are only for fashion wear? I wear vintage clothing and corsets allow me to create the right "vintage" shape for the dresses.
    It also supports my spine and breasts due to a disability. I don't think I have ever bought a corset for outerwear (though I know others do) as to me its underwear, its simply down to what you want to wear your corsets for.

  • Reply BurstAngel November 29, 2019 at 3:11 pm

    Um, have we forgot that corest is technically underwear? So on the inside it is a foundation like a bra and on the outside it's a fashion statement. It's both. Love the rant.

  • Reply Ima Karimah November 29, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    I wore my black corset over my black kimono dress so it was pretty save and it gave best curve look surely

  • Reply Cheylynn17 November 29, 2019 at 6:25 pm

    I have times where I corset more than other times, and I don’t ever do drastic reductions, so I do believe this is maybe? part of the reason people at most give me funky eyes but really most just let me be. Occasionally asked the “does it hurt” question. Which I find so hilarious cuz why on earth would I wear it if it hurt me? I’ve only been in the corset world for about a year now though.

  • Reply Panya V. November 29, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    In the four years I've been wearing a corset I've only worn it on the outside of my clothing maybe seven times to go with certain outfits. For me it's a foundation garment just like my bra, and also acts as a back brace, and I wouldn't necessarily want anyone to see either. I'm definitely not ashamed of wearing it and I'm not intending to deceive anyone [though I have no idea why anyone else would care]. Even though I'm technically stealthing, I talk to people about my corset all the time — my 'knock, knock' on the busk always elicits a shocked look that I find amusing.

  • Reply Christine Hicks November 30, 2019 at 2:50 am

    6:45 soooo How do you fell about MTV not showing music?

  • Reply werelemur1138 November 30, 2019 at 3:04 am

    It's really gross how entitled people are, especially to women/female presenting people, or people who are outside of what society considers "normal." And the assumption that any that anything a woman does to her body has got to be for "attention" or to "catch a man." Ugh!

    Mind your business, people!

  • Reply Raven Freeland November 30, 2019 at 3:41 am

    No matter what you/someone else ware(s), it is never, NEVER ok to touch someone who looks different. We need to talk to others and our children teach them that it's not ok.
    I used to ware a tail and corset. I'd have people tugging on my tail or asking if I grew it myself or some other unintelligent stab at my person. The tugging on my tail and therefore my pants or skirt pissed me off, I felt violated. I'd tell the person "No, not ok!" the one guy who didn't get it followed me through a store tugging on me. Till I had enough and yelled "Your violating my personal space!! Stop!!!!" To which others quickly looked over to see a 40ish man tugging the tail on a (then) 16y girl. The cops were called. As for the corset… I'm well endowed in the chest and rear. So when I ware a corset, I tend to get creepy guys hitting on me or flat out asking for sex. I don't want to be a sex object… putting on a corset makes me feel strong, my social anxiety goes away and I can take on the world…. And then people have to ruin a wonderful thing by being gross, perverted, hateful or annoying. All because it's different. Whats so wrong with being different?

  • Reply 609blondebomb November 30, 2019 at 5:28 am

    People are really just basically weird. That's why we capture animals and put them in the zoo. At least there are glass. bars. fences and trenches to protect the animals. We have no such separation. 🙂 At least you're pretty. 🙂

  • Reply CharlotEYUT November 30, 2019 at 12:54 pm

    Thanks so much for touching such serious topics with a pinch of sense of humor but keeping assertiveness. Love it!

  • Reply J w-s November 30, 2019 at 12:59 pm

    Thank you for this video. I'm a guy who wears a corset. I work a lot at a computer and it's brilliant for keeping good posture. I also find it so comfortable that I like to wear it as much as possible. I've always found it strange that there is a thing around wearing one, even for women. It's a garment that harms no one and is actually beneficial for the wearers back.
    I suppose it's a matter of what society is used to. People smoke in public and others think nothing of it because it's common. Corset wearing is very rare and so attracts attention.

  • Reply Evie M November 30, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    Having gauged ears has the same effect. It used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. However, I really didn't have to do that as much with my corsets. Perhaps it had something to do with where I was living at the time and the extent to which I was already objectified on a daily basis. When I moved to a much smaller town though, I stopped wearing my corsets daily. I didn't even do it consciously, but maybe that did have a lot to do with a subconscious knowledge that I would have to answer so many questions. It's been a big part of my life for a long time, my body as a conversation piece, and I suppose I have a certain amount of openness that went from big ears to visible tattoos to corsets. Touching though? Not about that. I can't remember any real issues with that though, seems like the only people who've ever tried to touch any of my modified pieces were so obviously just being creeps that it didn't occur to me that it might have been anything else.
    I keep thinking it's time to go back to corseting. It made me feel so good about myself, so good in general. Maybe having you (finally!) pop back up in my feed was a sign of sorts. Or not. Maybe I just miss it.

    As always, thanks for the thoughts!

  • Reply Ekaterina Goryushkina December 1, 2019 at 2:47 am

    OMG! U made a good point!!!

  • Reply PsychoKat90 December 1, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    Easy – because a corset is fundamentally UNDERWEAR. You don't need an excuse to wear it under your clothes, any more than someone wearing a bra needs an excuse not to wear it on the outside. I mean wtf, really?

  • Reply Katie Welikanna December 1, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    I'm looking for an overbust corset due to my cup size being a KK but dont know where to start, I'm also under 5ft so have a small torso

  • Reply megalopolis2015 December 2, 2019 at 7:34 am

    Well, living in NM presents fewer problems for me for my aesthetic choices than other places I could live. People usually compliment me on my purple highlighted hair, dramatic eyeliner, and fancy blouses. (I've also gotten positive comments the few times I've made my corsets public). As long as I wear their uniform, work doesn't care much how else I look. Some had a bias against me at one church I attended, but nobody at my current church or either of my Bible studies cares much about my Gothlike appearance. I receive the deepest cuts in society for my personality and beliefs. To keep people from abandoning me, I would have to suppress large portions of myself, or sellout altogether, the latter of which I'm particularly unwilling to do.
    If someone mentions your hair draining your life force again, ask them if they've ever read the Bible story of Samson and Delilah, which seemed to at least partially suggest the opposite. :0)

  • Reply Chelsea White December 2, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    I’m not ashamed to wear a 1860 corset. I love it! Highly recommended by original by Kay. It’s so comfy and I wear it under my clothes

  • Reply Wild Rabbit December 2, 2019 at 5:27 pm

    I guess I’m the odd ball here that wears a corset on the outside. I live in a small town and most people have accepted that I’m an artist and thereby “entitled’’ to my eccentricity (their words, not mine.) Helps that my dad is eccentric and lives in the same town. How I dress hasn’t been a problem, and I get to educate people, too. I have long hair as well.

  • Reply M 3 December 2, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    I love the "is it really my choice?" and "am I some sort of anti-feminist?" questions. Seriously, I understand curiousity, but some questions you cited seem really intrusive. Touching is a definite no-no, especially by strangers (when I was pregnant I got that a lot). I grew up in the era of anti-feminism and the lack of respect for women who do not choose that direction is staggering. Shapewear or a corset under a dress is lovely, no woman needs a court of public opinion about what she chooses to wear.

  • Reply Autumn Doll December 3, 2019 at 3:41 am

    I have a random question. If making your own corset, can I "double up" on featherlite boning for more stability or is that frowned upon?

  • Reply Alexa Faie December 3, 2019 at 7:51 am

    I've been so very lucky that I've not received very negative comments about my corsets when I've been out in public. I've also never had people touch me without consent, which I'm also incredibly thankful for. But then I've never received that kind of comment or attention when in public normally except for once when out with my boyfriend when some guys walking out complimented me in a unwanted kind of way, but it was targetted at my boyfriend. They spoke to him about being lucky to get to do things with me, so it wasn't exactly aimed at me but it did make me feel a bit uncomfortable to hear myself be objectified like that as a way to attempt to big up my boyfriend somehow.

    But when I'm alone people generally don't bother me. I tend to walk with music in my ears and purpose in my step and like its my street or wherever. And I probably end up with some variant of resting bitch face. I've never felt uncomfortable or scared in public on my own at night either, no matter how I've been dressed (and I've walked through dark tree-filled parks in an area where most women get afraid to walk after dark, partly because part of me doesn't care if someone tries to hurt/kill me and part because I know I will fight in as gruesome a manner as possible if someone did try something. They certainly wouldn't have functioning eyes left that's for sure). So like maybe I exude resting-dangerous person face? So people don't bug me?

    The only people who have commented on my corsets in public have been quite polite. I've had people ask who made it because they could tell it wasn't just from a shop, had people ask if I waist trained, and compliments on how it looks or completes the outfit or whatever. Granted most of those questions have been from other people in the ladies toilets as I'm re-lacing after having gone to the toilet so that kinda answers some of the questions like if I can lace myself or need help as they get to see me lacing myself just fine. I did have a friend ask to touch one of the corsets I was wearing when I was at university, but that was out of interest about how sturdy the metal busk was (he commented that he thought the corset looked like a bullet proof vest almost). But he was a housemate so it wasn't like it was being sprung on me at random and he wasn't asking it in a "can I touch your waist, its sexy" kind of way. It was more appreciation of the materials that go into making corsets and then getting excited that he could potentially dress his roleplaying characters when he did D&D in corsets and have the busk deflect a knife blade – that it could potentially act as a kind of minor armour. So I got to talk about the people in the Victorian era whose lives were saved by having been wearing a corset when they were attacked and he found that interesting too. So even then it was all just respectful and nice and more about geeking out about corsets than anything else. Which I always appreciate!

  • Reply Mary Field December 3, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    Do you have a video, can suggest a video, or produce a video on corsets for truly plus size bodies that most corsets don't cater to?
    I'm mostly curious about the apple shape. With a large stomach compared to chest/ breasts and hips. How should corsets function on an apple body shape? How should you deal with the lower stomach when there is a "shelf" of fat and skin that does not gently slope into the pelvic region, but rather lay on top of, or protrude over the pelvic area.

  • Reply K December 4, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    Your hair is gorgeous no matter what. This hairstyle is very flattering on you.
    I just bought 2 waspie corsets specifically to stealth them and have pretty corsets that I wear to specific events. I'm excited to get my new waspies next week 🙂

  • Reply Liloua December 15, 2019 at 11:03 pm

    Long hair is so beautiful these stupid questions are jealousy!

  • Reply Hanna Bayer December 16, 2019 at 3:14 am

    I started wearing corsets because of your channel. I was in like junior year of high school I think and I was training down maybe one inch max! I had a lot of back issues and the corset just felt like a really nice support for my back. Now as a 24 year old I still find myself falling down into the corset world. There will be years I don't touch a corset and years I'm obsessed and buy way too many. But every time I pick one I think is beautiful. I don't own a plain black or nude corset. Well I have a black mesh one but that doesn't count!

    I always buy one with the idea I might wear it on the outside. Yet I never do. I wore one once, outside my clothes to one of my college classes. It was class of very close friends. We had known each other years. And it was fine. People complimented it and moved on. I took it off before my next class. I felt I had already tempted fate. I haven't thought to wear one out since. I want to show them off. I would love to do it. I love educating people about them and I feel feminine and empowered wearing one. People always act like corsets are death machines (I blame inaccurate era movies cough pirates of the Caribbean *cough*). I just don't have the confidence to pull it off yet.

    Now I work at a school with children 3-6 years old. I work at the front desk as the receptionist. I fear that if I were to wear one of my corsets it would be perceived as sexual or inappropriate around children. I mean it's not like the dress code says no corsets lol. Fact of the matter is it's a judgement call and I judge it's a no-go.

    Also in regards to the feminism vs. antifeminism of corsets. This is what I always say. They say, "women worked hard for years so they WOULDN'T have to wear corsets. You wearing one is throwing their work away." I say, "No. They worked hard for years so women could wear WHAT THEY WANT. If I want to wear a corset some days I can. If I don't, I can choose not to. So I thank them for that. But they did not want you, a random stranger/friend, dictating what we as women can wear. They wanted us to be free. And if wearing a corset is freedom for me, that's my choice."

  • Reply thegothicslytherin December 18, 2019 at 2:09 pm

    I agree, it's not people's business what I choose to do with my body, so I'm not obligated to show it at all times. I have 32 tattoos, and for some reason, people always feel like it's their business what I get tattooed and feel entitled to make all sorts of comments. One time, a man in the bus expressed his concerns about the cost of my tattoos. As I don't already know how expensive they are. I've never talked to or seen this man before 😂.

    When I wear long skirts, pants, long sleeves and such, it always makes me laugh when people are wondering why I'm hiding my tattoos 😂. Hmm yeah, with the number of tattoos and different placements I have, it would be difficult for them all to show at one time, all the time, unless I'm going to the pool or the beach loll. I'm not gonna wear a bikini all the time for the sole purpose of showing off my tattoos. It's getting cold :P. And I like to dress comfortably.

    That being said, I don't mind answering questions as long as they're respectful. I get that people are curious about those things.

  • Reply ais313 December 19, 2019 at 4:18 am

    I began wearing corsets on a near daily basis after getting out of a long term abusive relationship. I'd briefly worn one years before, and I remembered how it supported my posture and felt comforting. I needed that kind of armor, so bought some from an OtR who had a sale going.

    I picked beautiful, demure corsets that I felt would work well with my work clothes.
    One of the men at my workplace began complaining about me behind my back, after a few months gaining the courage to speak loudly enough for me to hear him in the call center over all of the other noise.
    He spread it around that there was something wrong with me, that I was an exibitionist, that I was wearing lingerie at work and ultimately that I should be forced not to wear such distracting underwear in his and other mens' presence.

    A lot of women approached me regarding what he said, some with a desire to warn me, some to push that they agreed, all with questions.

    I spent my breaks, lunches, and time off the clock educating the women I worked with on the history and benefits of corsetry (thank you for the core knowledge by the way) and allowed a few to try mine on so they could learn the basics of how to wear them.

    Where the guy was concerned, each time I was approached I'd say I wasn't responsible for his kinks and it wasn't my concern that my perfectly beautiful back brace was his turn on, perhaps he should stop sexualizing me and my clothes.

    On the street, I was asked if I were part of the cast in the movie being filmed nearby (the Witch hunter, if I remember correctly), a group of young women yelled out that I was a cross dresser, and many men would aggressively demand sexual favors from me.

    The movie question, I warmly smiled and said no.
    The girls I ignored.
    The men I returned aggression with loud and insulting refusals.

    I learned to wear headphones and to sing along loudly. That's when most people stopped approaching me.

  • Reply Cotton Candie December 31, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Your earring autonomy is especially fabulous on this video. Long live independence and the wonderful expressions thereof.

  • Reply E. G. January 6, 2020 at 2:18 pm

    This just reminds me of how ashamed my family always tries to make me about my cutting my hair when I was younger, I only cut it about 6 inches. I still feel I'm not allowed to cut my hair, even though I dye it all the time😅

  • Reply Melissa Laura January 14, 2020 at 7:29 am

    I'm new to waist training and I'm already sick of the stupid comments. I was talking to my friend about my corset in front of one of her guy friends, I forget it's not normal at times. When I wasn't around he made a comment about how he didn't know me and my boyfriend were into "that kind of stuff" 🙄. She shut it down and corrected him. She let him know I've lost a lot of weight and am trying to get my body to a place I'm comfortable.

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