Articles, Blog

Ozzy Man Reviews: Live Music Fails

January 17, 2020


Oy if you live in Perth, then come to my live show bushfire fundraiser. All proceeds go to the pregnant sheila that had ScoMo force a handshake on her and the Irwin’s Wildlife Warriors charity. The link to get tickets is in the post description below. Let’s fuckin do it! [Music] It’s me again with some tips and tricks on how to nail a live music performance. OH! Spinny guitar RIGHT to the face. The singer is pretending it didn’t hurt, but I reckon that’s gonna leave a mark. It makes the show ten times better, though. The bass player bloody loves it. Get ready for another spinny guitar move. The drummer’s in danger! Nah, it’s all good. I think this guy’s bandmates had the bass guitar turned right down anyway, so no one is gonna miss hearing it. I don’t wanna brag, but… I do know how to shred a great guitar solo, this here is not a great guitar solo. [Bad guitar solo performance] The singer comes out and says “you’ve ruined my dreams!” The bass player is like “just quit, man!” It is frustrating when the weakest link in a band has no idea how shit they are, and refuses to quit. On tour is NOT the place to try new, experimental directions. Even if you’re Van Halen! [Bad performance] If your name is Lil’ Wayne, don’t play guitar at all. Put the guitar down. [Bad performance] I can’t tell if he’s concentrating or high as shit. Actually, definitely both. Don’t play a Jimmy Page style doubleneck guitar in a Storm Trooper helmet. DON’T DO IT! [Music] There’s a reason Stormtroopers have shitty aim. You cannot see a fucken thing in that imperial workwear. Stagediving! Here’s a few pro tips. Make sure you know WHERE the crowd is before ya do it. Once you’ve found the crowd, make sure they genuinely wanna catch you. Oh, don’t wear budgie smugglers. Yeah nah, it was at this moment Shane realised NO ONE wants to touch his balls. And off to the medical tent. Iggy is like “my dick is away. It won’t rub you. C’mon, catch me.” Nah, no one trusts him. His dick is never away. A trampoline is both an excellent idea and a horrible idea when stage diving. Just rehearse ya stunts before the show or you’ll end up with regrets like Steve Aioli. Stage diving is getting popular amongst rap musicians at the moment, which is handy, because everyone in the audience is filming on their phones, so if you fuck it up, you have plenty of angles to choose from when filling out your insurance forms. Always remember the show must go on even if ya spew, even if ya vomit ya guts out, even if ya hurl like a motherfucker, do not stop. You pretend it didn’t happen and you finish the song. “Oh yeah baby… AHHHH” that’s the last time anyone ever saw Travis. Oh no, there’s Drake, that’s handy. Bring your own Drake if you ever fall off stage. BYO Drake. If you’re security working at an Anthrax gig and a dickhead runs up, try not to tackle lead singer Joey Belladonna. He’s an important part of the band, and his mates get shitty when you do. (Band member: “I guess they haven’t seen him up here on stage for the last 90 minutes. he is in the BAND!” A Fan: “The fuckin arsehole.”). Take a tip from TOOL singer Maynard, if an overeager fan storms the stage, simply body slam him, mount him, and apply a choke hold. Then spend the rest of the set gently riding him while singing loudly at the back of his head. The fan will be cool with it. Soon he’ll sing along. Yeah! Boom! Situation deescalated. Cross out the security fee in ya budget. The fan leaves the stage confused, but happy. Yeah nah yeah, those are me tips to a successful live music performance! Rock out with your cock out, like Iggy Pop, unless you prefer your cock in your pants, which is understandable.

100 Comments

  • Reply Rajveer Rautela January 17, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    Wassup

  • Reply Abby Jaded January 17, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    Imagine playing that shite solo in front of a bunch of people and the get pummeled by your own band. No confidence left whatsoever

  • Reply Abby Jaded January 17, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    Imagine playing that shite solo in front of a bunch of people and the get pummeled by your own band. No confidence left whatsoever

  • Reply Abby Jaded January 17, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    Imagine playing that shite solo in front of a bunch of people and the get pummeled by your own band. No confidence left whatsoever

  • Reply Abby Jaded January 17, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    Imagine playing that shite solo in front of a bunch of people and the get pummeled by your own band. No confidence left whatsoever

  • Reply Abby Jaded January 17, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    Imagine playing that shite solo in front of a bunch of people and the get pummeled by your own band. No confidence left whatsoever

  • Reply Abby Jaded January 17, 2020 at 9:41 pm

    cock out HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

  • Reply Axel Winge January 17, 2020 at 9:41 pm

    1:43 it's a 3rd gen clone trooper helmet, not stormtrooper… Love you to death OzzyMan, but these are important facts which must be gotten right or the consequences will be dire

  • Reply Anthony Napoli January 17, 2020 at 9:42 pm

    Unfortunately you dropped this video the morning that Greg from the wiggles had a heart attack last night on stage while the original wiggle members where doing a show to raise money for the bushfires

  • Reply J444 January 17, 2020 at 9:44 pm

    This is great! LMAO

  • Reply Red RuM January 17, 2020 at 9:44 pm

    I really wonder about the minds of those who dislike ozzymans videos. They must be some sad sad cunts

  • Reply LioN G AkA AzAd January 17, 2020 at 9:46 pm

    Dude 4:πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply STAS_ Gamer January 17, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    i already see Ozzy jumping on crowd 7 february and no1 catch him.

  • Reply Danny Demers January 17, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    hahaha funny ass shit like always mate!

  • Reply FireLordCanti January 17, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    Steve Aioli 🀣🀣🀣

  • Reply George Henry Moore January 17, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    caN't watch this, fuck me mate, it's like faces of death

  • Reply Salsa Dude January 17, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    2:34 that's Steve Aoki…

  • Reply Crank Lab Explosion - lab central January 17, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    "I can shred a good guitar"

    Vids or it didn't happen

  • Reply Kegan Burzynski January 17, 2020 at 9:48 pm

    πŸ€πŸ€πŸ¦‰πŸ¦‰πŸ€πŸ€

  • Reply SONI T January 17, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    #SpinnyGuitar πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Stephen Rushton January 17, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    Dude that was a republic clone trooper helmet not an imperial stormtrooper . It actually was my grandads.

  • Reply Cyba IT January 17, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    Maynard James Keenan is a f'n legend πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ and he did it in his boxers!!

  • Reply Gary Simmons January 17, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    0:57 I had to report this because of the swastika at the bottom right. Sorry mate!

  • Reply Jo-Anne Squadrilla January 17, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    Hahahahalarious 🀣 πŸ™Œ I like your channel in πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦

  • Reply Joshua Lafond January 17, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    I love tool. Maynard is a genius Even though it took 13 years for a new CD to come out

  • Reply Joey Bahamundi January 17, 2020 at 9:54 pm

    I would like to see your guitar shredding! Upload that, and then review it!

  • Reply Matt Bucchiotti January 17, 2020 at 9:54 pm

    Ozzy fa minista

  • Reply Gary Hill January 17, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    Killing it OZZY MAN, you never disappoint πŸ€˜πŸ‘ΉπŸ€˜

  • Reply Clayton McDonald January 17, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    I've noticed the Fender Amp in the background a few times, but that first solo, was the first time he played a guitar, pretty sure?
    Man, I'm not going to pretend I know what to say about the fires bud.
    Prayers for Australia.

  • Reply kal January 17, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    lol

  • Reply nii_amart January 17, 2020 at 9:57 pm

    Lil Wayne wasn't that bad though.

  • Reply Raymond J January 17, 2020 at 9:57 pm

    hey bro i really hope the fires have gotten under controll god bless !

  • Reply Yo Mama January 17, 2020 at 9:57 pm

    Love you bro!

  • Reply D. Ski January 17, 2020 at 9:57 pm

    Maynard, status boss

  • Reply Cmac 613 January 17, 2020 at 9:59 pm

    Is some of the money really going to the pregnant women? You fucking rock ozzyman

  • Reply Pandas are cool January 17, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    God bless you Ozzy with your charity.

  • Reply isaac hancock January 17, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Just realised that climate change for David Attenborough must feel like β€œorder 66” to him and he’s yoda and in shock and pain from all of it πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Dave Love January 17, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Damn… they dropped Iggy.

  • Reply Penny Lane January 17, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    At least the Americans didn't try to force mixed endian on us like with their stupid ass date notation. Well, if you look at the URL as a whole it's sorta kinda mixed endian but at least it's different things that have different endianness there.

  • Reply Deanna Jackson January 17, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ’€

  • Reply Arturs Dāvids January 17, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    Pretty meh video to be honest…

  • Reply Alvin Martinez January 17, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    You got me with the insurance claim. Great video bruv

  • Reply Burytook January 17, 2020 at 10:02 pm

    Where's Nick Jonas' guitar solo fail? That was honestly even worse than Lil Wayne

  • Reply typhoidtyphoon January 17, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    It's a bit too far to swim over, but I hope you make all of the money :). And have fun doin' it!

  • Reply The Beach January 17, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    Can I get some Steve Aoili to go with my fries

  • Reply Michael Higgins January 17, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    This is a perfect video!!!! After Dime was Murdered running on stage definitely not a good idea! Plus the kids now days between their phones and being a bunch of pussy ass snowflakes can’t trust them for some good old fashion crowd surfing either!!!

  • Reply Jorja Kylie Hatherley January 17, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    Hi I just wanted to say I love your videos they are fucking hilarious and I’m definitely coming to see your show in feb in Perth can’t wait!! But I was just wondering if you have any suggestions to other hilarious commentators that have channels and don’t just commentate fucking sports videos aha! Cheers your awesome πŸ‘ŒπŸ»

  • Reply Lazerbeam Fan January 17, 2020 at 10:04 pm

    Me:MUM DAD BROTHERS PACK YOUR BAGS WE ARE MOVING TO PEARTH

  • Reply γ•γγ‚‰γƒ€γƒŸγƒ‹ January 17, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    Pure idiocy πŸ˜‚

  • Reply zah fares January 17, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    Ψ΄ΩƒΨ±Ψ§Ω‹

  • Reply Tim Johnson January 17, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    First guitar guy looked like Eddie Bravo

  • Reply TomΓ‘s Nicholson January 17, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    Ozzy Man straight up stealing clips from Loudwire's videos. Not cool man, not cool.

  • Reply Graeme Brumfitt January 17, 2020 at 10:08 pm

    Rock out wid ye COCK OUT… pissed myself na yeah honest. TFS, G πŸ™‚

  • Reply Willy Nebula January 17, 2020 at 10:08 pm

    Haha what a tool!

  • Reply V for Vendetta January 17, 2020 at 10:08 pm

    Nowadays you can't stage dive anymore because everyone is on their phone filming.

  • Reply Nigel Douglas January 17, 2020 at 10:09 pm

    Tool rule

  • Reply Simbelmyne 444 January 17, 2020 at 10:10 pm

    I laughed so loud I scared my grandkids! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply kilo21swp January 17, 2020 at 10:10 pm

    Maynard is not someone to mess with.

  • Reply Dan January 17, 2020 at 10:12 pm

    Was that NBA Youngboy throwing up?

  • Reply Celtic Ninja Nerd January 17, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    Maynard is a bjj black belt

  • Reply Shlug life January 17, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    2.06 was amazing

  • Reply fufufuaru January 17, 2020 at 10:15 pm

    oof i’m cringing so much

  • Reply Marika Mccauley January 17, 2020 at 10:15 pm

    Ozzy man: "Bring your own Drake."
    Me: Shows up with male duck

  • Reply Bryce Varley January 17, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    Lil Wayne literally sucks at everything he tries.

  • Reply Mikkel Albrecht Auning-Hansen January 17, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    Yo Ozzy Man you missed the ol’ classic performance where Nirvana Bassist Krist Novoselic knock himself out during a bass toss πŸ˜‚

    https://youtu.be/lLlKZcqLK7k

    And respect to all aussies fighting for your homes 🐨 Peace out.

    πŸ‡©πŸ‡°

  • Reply Kuda January 17, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    Off to the medical tent πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Ajay Solra January 17, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    Bro you opened my eyes

  • Reply Chris January 17, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    Remember when Lil Wayne was relevant ?

    Jokes! That wanker was never relevant!

  • Reply April January 17, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    *Googles airline tickets and flight time to Perth….*

  • Reply gooneybird808 January 17, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    I saw lil Wayne play a solo live and it was perfect in every way…my fuckin boy

  • Reply Ethan Phillips January 17, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    ACTUHLLY I THINK YOULL FIND THAT THATS A PHASE 3 CONE TROOPER HELMET AND NOT A STORMTROOPER HELMET

  • Reply I Don't Like It Productions January 17, 2020 at 10:22 pm

    I watching this right after reading that Greg from the Wiggles suffered cardiac arrest during a relief concert.

  • Reply Steven O'kane January 17, 2020 at 10:22 pm

    Keep up the great work Ozzy man you are fecking hilarious mate . Love from Northern Ireland .

  • Reply Ozzy Man Reviews January 17, 2020 at 10:22 pm

    PERTH get ya live show fundraiser tickets HERE:
    https://ozzymanliveperth.eventbrite.com.au

    If you live internationally and can't make it to the live show (which is understandable), but still wanna be a generous legend then you can donate to bushfire victim Zoey McDermott or wildlife warriors via these links:
    https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-zoey-and-michael-from-cobargo
    https://wildlifewarriors.org.au/donate/

    Cheers!

  • Reply OJP January 17, 2020 at 10:23 pm

    Maynard does martial arts! That guy found out the hard way.

  • Reply A. Lee Martin II January 17, 2020 at 10:24 pm

    Nothing better then some classic MJK moves but, you do that shit now and you better prepare for an ass whooping!

  • Reply Dogs470P January 17, 2020 at 10:24 pm

    Ozzy Man that's a clone trooper helmet.

  • Reply M N January 17, 2020 at 10:24 pm

    Wish the "CROCODILE HUNTER STEVE IRWIN" was here….. He would've brought a lot more attention to the Animal suffering.

  • Reply Dan Schavemaker January 17, 2020 at 10:25 pm

    Clone trooper helmet*

  • Reply Brandon Gainer January 17, 2020 at 10:25 pm

    Steve Aioli

  • Reply The Alpha Matt January 17, 2020 at 10:25 pm

    What a bunch of losers, why are they rich

  • Reply Wallace Hardin III January 17, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    Steve A Ohly. LOL!

  • Reply Jesse Ellis January 17, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    OZZYMAN!… when I die, can you deliver the eulogy?…

  • Reply OE Fitness January 17, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    That helmet troll 1:43πŸ˜…

  • Reply the Katt January 17, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    " Budgie smuggler" lmao πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Reply Sil Lander January 17, 2020 at 10:33 pm

    Republic clone trooper but close enough

  • Reply Mike Danger January 17, 2020 at 10:33 pm

    Hah for some reason I thought Maynard was a chill dude. But that was the definition of "no chill".

  • Reply whyarewehere January 17, 2020 at 10:36 pm

    Fuck sake Ozzy, my mate lives in Perth but fuck me im like 12hrs away

  • Reply clive ramsbotty January 17, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    2:17. Iggy Flop. GOODNIGHT.

  • Reply Alex Symes January 17, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    Ozzy: He can’t see in the stormtrooper helmet.
    Me and all other Star Wars nerds: it a clone helmet. He could see just fine.

  • Reply Jeremy Fernandez January 17, 2020 at 10:40 pm

    I do enjoy listening to Steve Aioli

  • Reply Maddox Rover January 17, 2020 at 10:40 pm

    I once stage dived during my school days and was so hyped up that I jumped over the people who were supposed to catch me and landed behind them….thankfully i landed on a softer body part of an unsuspecting lady. That whole concert was some experience!

  • Reply Thorzcun StellarFighter January 17, 2020 at 10:40 pm

    1:43 thats not an imperial storm trooper helmet, thats a clone trooper helmet…

  • Reply E Johnson January 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    You going to talk about the ARSONISTS?

  • Reply cheesegod 69 January 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    It’s not a storm trooper it’s a clone trooper just letting u you😁

  • Reply Cory Obrien January 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    Why do these austalian fags always put an "o" at the end of every other fucking word they use??? Do they think that shit sounds cute? Its cringy as all fuck

  • Reply Krissy's Spice 4 life & M.O.L Skin Deco January 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    Ur so damn funny. I wanna get money from what the evil Nazis did to me and then come to Australia to help koalas ..

  • Reply Andru Wright January 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    "It was at this moment Shane realized that no one wants to touch his balls."
    Funniest part for me.

  • Reply Sandie January 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    Always remember the show must go on

  • Reply Epic bottle flips January 17, 2020 at 10:43 pm

    0:37 that looks like somewhere Adam Neely would play

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