Articles, Blog

How to Be a Street Performer or Busker on Venice Boardwalk

August 24, 2019


How was your bathroom experience? It looks like a well that a serial killer would keep you in while softening your skin for the slaughter. [guitar] [Luke with sign] [Devin] [Jake] [McDouble] [Man playing guitar] [Actual alien man] [Phat blunt] You need water? I’m cool That’s just informational. Alright what is that?Two of swords.
Alright what is that?Two of swords.So you wanna be like a hot powerful woman with a dog That’s pretty self-explanatory. Um, 3 of swords You feel like a victim. Try…notbeing the victim. Maybe stay away from swords. YEH! More swords uhhh what’d I say? Four of swords! Yea, stay off TV, get a Hulu. WHAT THE FIVE OF SWORDS?!?! I need to shuffle these (Yea) Alright I’ll take it. Uhhm, alright my joke is I went to my friend’s bachelor party recently She smacked him in the facewith a dildo
She smacked him in the facewith a dildoSmacked him across the faceWhat’s up? You guys want… uh… Any donation at all can get you We’ll take rubber bands [chuckling] Yea we’ll take a paper clip My life is brilliant My love is pure This guy came back with a [email protected]#%ING MUSTACHEYou’re beautiful You’re beautifulMUSTACHE MANBeautiful mustache manGODSPEED MUSTACHE MAN
Beautiful mustache manGODSPEED MUSTACHE MAN[unintelligible] I’M JOHNMAAAAAYERYOU CAN’T BELIEVE SOME OF THE PEOPLE I’VE[email protected]#$%^&*EDWhat would you like man?YES
What would you like man?
What would you like man? What would you like my friend – a song, a joke, or life advice? You know, sometimes life hands you doubt and then a… …florescent-coloredANGEL
…florescent-colored
just drops out of the sky to give you positivity &“AND I WON’T THINK TWICE – STICK THAT BARRELSTRAIGHT DOWN SANCHO’S THROATBELIEVE ME WHEN I SAYTHAT I GOTSOMETHING
THAT I GOT
FOR HIS PUNK
SOMETHING
THAT I GOT
* * *we’re — PG… PG [wild animal noises] That was awesome!“I am a river…down in the valley, ohhhI am a vision,I can see clearlyyyIf anybody asks you who I amJust stand uptalllookeminthefaceandsayI…”Which one appeals to you the most my lady? Let’s see… Five of swords Swords speak to aggression Are you angry? Sometimes, you wanna bring out the sword [SWORD SHEATHING EFFECT] And you go… Are you gonna come, or not?! And he says “maybe I’ll call, ya know, we’ll see” and then you wanna say to him – and then you wanna say to him you wanna say “take my hand,” you wanna say, “Am I with you?” “Or am I gonna be with someone else?” Oh good
Oh You give him the perfect relationship and then he can choose with a clear mind And if he’s still giving you thisFAKERY, if he’s not being aMAN, And if he makes the wrong choice, then you whip it out again —
you go Oh yea, any donation is fine THANK YOU Now we can buy TWO sandwiches WE’RE EARNING OUR DINNER ON VENICE BOARDWALK wa-bam Who got the rose? I got her a rose Awwwww AWWW come back I have had that before and it’s the best and then you like, trust the person already and you’ve known who she is, and it’s – it’s friggin… it’s just like so organic We’re just taking it a day at a time Oh yea that’s awesome, that’s what I’m saying “I know it sounds funny but I just can’t stand the pain Girl I’m leavin’ you tomorroOoOoOoOoOOOw [Interpretive lyric] [More b#[email protected]^&? that’s not in the real song] OoOoOoOoOoOo “Cause I’m easy” [garbage words] Y’all are so cutesee you again
You guys stay beautifulsee you againstay together “Hey now you’re an all-star getchya game on go, play [HAW] Hey now, You’re a rocksta’ get the show on get paid” [TRAP] [guitar solo] yea, break it down That’s the only song I know, by heart “fdsjakhfadkljh GUY LIKE ME
“fdsjakhfadkljh WOOO Stacy’s mom, has got it goin’ on She’s all I want, and I waited for so long” “This is my message to youUuUu” “Don’t worry about a thing [instrumental] ’cause every little thing, gonna be alright” Here we go… “Woke up this mornin’ smile at the…” I thought someone counted We’re so f*%(^#$? filthy rich oh my GOD What’re we getting? Um, can we do Can we get uh 2 McChickens, Definitely a sausage burrito What’s the total? Yea we can do it You makin’ a YouTube video or something… Yea We had a We had a very lackluster fundraiser Alright, so what we have here is 2 McChickens,
Alright, so what we have here is 2 McDoubles,
2 McChickens,
Alright, so what we have here is and a sausage burrito.
2 McDoubles,
2 McChickens,
Alright, so what we have here is 2 McChickens,
2 McDoubles,
and a sausage burrito. Alright, we’re gonna split it all up Split it all (?) Take a bite (yum) We earned this with

4 Comments

  • Reply Geoffrey Greene August 1, 2018 at 9:45 am

    That lady's side-eye 😂

  • Reply Jake Yarmoff August 1, 2018 at 5:52 pm

    Hahaha the phattest blunt on record

  • Reply Rebecca Alderson August 3, 2018 at 6:07 pm

    I love you guys!!!!!!!

  • Reply Yenny Zhang August 29, 2018 at 3:28 pm

    Why your name Devin Greene I thought it was Team Friendship

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