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Comedian Preacher Lawson | All Performances | America’s Got Talent 2017 | Got Talent Global

September 8, 2019


Hello, hey, you know, what’s your name, please? My name is pretty lost. I love that and how old are you? I’m 25, I’ll turn 26 in two hours Are you single married? I have a girlfriend you have a girlfriend she’s dope. Yeah And what do you do for a living? I’m a stand-up comedian, which means I’m unemployed and I do stand-up on the side All right best of luck Right, I Got a motorcycle I don’t like telling people I have a motorcycle cuz every time I tell someone they always gotta tell me a story about how the friends crashed on a motorcycle You know, like why do people have to be so negative? I don’t go up to pregnant women telling them my dad left So annoying so annoying I walked at my apartment one time right? I walked in my apartment and my neighbor walked up to me She’s like, oh my god. You got a motorcycle. Are you Cyrus? Are you sorry you better be careful I got in a car wreck the other day. My car flipped eight times. I’m looking to be laughs bliss She black by the way Everyone around this is like, you know, that was that is crazy. That’s your car flip eight times you alive You are blessed, you know, and now I’m over here thinking who the heck counted right like Who’s that called when their cars flipping in it? Warren Let’s do it. My name is Bridget. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. That’s that Feature can I have just one more joke? Aha Alright, I don’t feel safe driving with my grandma because she’s really spiritual She loved the Lord to the pole, but she’s not afraid of dying. So I don’t like that. All right, I Don’t like beating Karla someone that’s not afraid of death. Okay, like hey, she got that attitude like if I down going to heaven so it don’t matter like It does matter cuz I’m gonna call okay This now spiritual my crown is if I got shot in the chest with a gun eight times instead of calling the ambulance She would get on her knees praying like please Lord Jesus I get these demons I sign my grandbabies fast the laptop borders rise up and find ways from his chest black mold to do the Ramseys just more Bluff is Wayne Lil John 3:16 Region losses good, welcome back Um, who have you brought with you today? Oh my mom came from China, what’s up, there you go Let me get this correct so you haven’t seen him in a few years It has flown all the way from China to see you today. Yeah, she flew from Jeff A year, so yeah. I’m just I love you mom Before you get you get into your ad just tell us a little bit about what today means to you now I’ve been doing stand-up for eight years going in bars Laundromats so that’s why being here means so much to me. Well, the stage is all yours. All right, cool So cool about a year ago, I went on a date and I got catfished and uh It’s when you meet someone online the meeting person for real and you’re like hey that’ll match okay You never mustache so line man, right? So I met this girl online. She was very pretty. She was super pretty I made her a person She was just as pretty that’s not she got me I the way she got me is when she walks kind of has a lip. We just go Somewhere like whoo, I love long walks on the beach, but it’s hard because my legs act up let me know I’m in at this bar downtown right and she was really pretty She’s pretty I went over and I bought her a drink. That sounds fine She is y’all I normally don’t buy with my drinks cuz I don’t drink, you know It’s weird for me to get a water get it your own alcohol beverage like yeah. Hey lucky, you know, it’s just creepy dude I’m a comedian Bill. Cosby is a comedian anyway What what and so uh Bobby this drink, right and the bar we’re at starts playing music, so I can’t hear what she’s saying, right? So I’m like yo, he’s getting out of here. Let’s go take a walk around the park, right? She’s like I let’s do it right when she hopped out chair Cuz she was walking like she’s scenes in novels on the ground, but she didn’t want anyone to know it She like is that ten dollars cuz it’s mine. Yeah Then she became my girlfriend, so that’s pretty cool Thank You Gavin is Breslau appreciate Man I don’t know why people brag about being single like it’s not fun being lonely. I don’t like that at all. I don’t know I I was single for three years. You know what I’ve noticed after being single for three years I noticed the longer I’m single the lower. My standards get night real. I was really picky in the beginning I’m like she got like this. She gotta have this now. I’m like who needs teeth, you know like you You smile with your heart and that’s all that matters I’m saying cuz I was ugly kid growing up Like I feel out right now, but when I was a kid I was like surprisingly ugly Like if you looked at me too fast, I’d mess you up y’all saying from age 7 to 14 My nickname was that’s my name. I Need to tell people dishes new sometimes That’s why me and my ex broke up because we wanted kids but we couldn’t have any kids kind of sad Unless we adopt it. That’s the only way we can have children which I do plan on adopting at least one child I feel like everyone should adopt if everyone adopted there’ll be no need for foster care, right? So I be yeah, so I do plan on adopting but I do want to biological children of my own me My ex couldn’t have me its kind of sex my ex She has a she has a huge forehead and I don’t wanna pass those genes down To my children. Okay. Yeah, you’re not gonna have my kid looking like Jimmy Neutron. So I was like I mean, don’t get me wrong. I still love Tyra. It’s just you know, I Know You guys go like when I see our way she waves back. Hi TyTy. You know, what’s good? Yeah, that’s all good Just saying that you know, she’s got big forehead I got some big old lips if we had a son his face would be in 4d is what I’m saying, right? He was getting fights all the time kids yelling. I’m gonna get out my face, you know, he’d be like, I’m across the street man My daddy got big lips. Laughs it’s so funny. People used to make fun of my lips as a kid all time Yeah, that’s a big lip, you know some soup coolers. You’re dissing it like shut up okay, I bet I never drowned I bet that right I Like my lips women like big lips fellas. If you making out with your girl and she can breathe. She ain’t happy. Okay, she’s not showing like that women love big hips here girls do a selfie they always do like they always do a duckface to do definitely yeah, I Don’t know women good faces. I’ve never seen a duck and thought that’s so sexy looking duck like stop No one’s driving past pause. I Like no one’s doing I think kids are colder I think it’s really cool that they can be annoying sometimes cuz I’m really cute You know, I got a four-year-old cousin. Her name is Peyton, right? She looks at me in front of a whole bunch of friends and family says hey preacher. Why are you so ugly? And then she did the robot, right? So everybody was dying so funny when the four-year-old calls me ugly. It doesn’t robot It’s hilarious until I say something back to her. Like that’s why your mama don’t know who your daddy is And This you wanna cry, you know, I she crying she started yelling me. Cry your mama Don’t know who your daddy is either like psych. My mom do know who my daddy is No, she’s gonna know where he’s at. You know, like she know him. My name is preacher Lawson. Thank you so much. I appreciate Right, yes, so uh, I was watching Oprah a few years ago cuz on my dark stuff had just how’s your plan I can’t be against because I’m ticklish. No, you can’t be do that and Gangsters go to jail. I can’t go to jail. I smile too much. I got a big booty. This is the bad combination. Yeah No, you’re looking all right I was watching over him and I’ve seen this guy in over. Here’s a Guinness world record for the fastest claps per second Which is pretty stupid he does 14 claps per second one one thousand that’s 14 claps y’all. I got a question How do you find out that you are the fastest clapper in the world, huh? Track me. I Bet you I bet you love me campfires like whoo, I can’t start a fire Like 80 brain cells. Oh, yeah, you know, what else is stupid cell phones. They’re getting too big It’s annoying like every time I swipe down my screen. I feel like I’m playing The Price is Right. I guess hug here I’m like, let’s see that on my facebook feed. Let’s see. What look at this picture. It’s annoying I got a hopscotch the text me I will call you back light out normal, you know I exhausted it is the save a number. What’s your number? 4:07 Have a asthma attack Side note ladies you ever notice every time a black or a Spanish didn’t speak game to you It looked like we using hand sanitizer you ever notice that your let Mohammed you force a little mama What’s your name? I’m just saying look I Got me as my screensaver on my phone cuz I like me and This girl’s seen they call me conceited. She’s like you got user screens there on your phone. Are you serious? Not so conceited. She white by the way, and I was like How am I conceited cuz I got a picture of me on my phone. It’s my phone I wouldn’t that’s like walking in someone’s house. And like maybe I picture you and your family everywhere. It’s my house. Okay, I Do the whole I don’t got any kids It’s like I don’t got any kids don’t got any pets what else gonna be my screensaver So ran the picture of a lake, I can’t swim, okay So I got me I got an iPhone 6s plus 128 gig that’s a nine hundred and forty dollar phone I I paid my mom paid nine hundred and Forty dollars, my name is preaching Lawson. Happy birthday, Janine. I love you All right so I was walking home the other day and I’ve seen this naked dude dancing on a trash can and He wasn’t fully nigga. He had socks on but it was it’s really weird. You know me I don’t want to look at him, but I couldn’t not look, you know, and then then he caught me looking at him You know how like you standing somebody there you try to play it off like you’re not looking at me like ah floor Ceiling over here good, Georgia, Georgia, like you just try to play hop Are you would look at that and he caught me he was like hey now Snap, he ran from one side of the street to the other. He didn’t care about his life at all. He was like Hey you stop right in front of a stop hammer time Brother let me tell you something. Let me taste some breathless nut. All right, listen up rabbit. Let me tell you something All right. Listen, I’m gonna tell you a secret you ready for the secret I’m gonna tell you listen up come close come close brother. Come on. Come close. Ah, listen up, brother All right, you’ll in Ulan. All right. All right, listen up brother black power. You’re gonna say him brother Yeah, black power. Do you hear me? I was like I hear what you’re saying, but you’re white, so, I don’t know why Yeah, it’s kind of weird yes, there’s hell I Thought what do you want man? Let me tell you what I won’t play it hot. Let a brother like me Barbara Let me borrow my Maggie back. Let me borrow $75 I was like, excuse me, sir, but you just skipped a lot of levels, okay? $75 for what? He’s like, I’m trying to get a soda. I was like full we’re whole foods like why do you need? That even if it’s money so I told him I was like listen man, I’m not giving you $75 I’m not cuz I only got $10 and I’m not giving you $10 cuz I’m not stupid any amount of money. I give you I’m probably taking and spitting out drugs. I can tell you naked, okay? And he said he this way said back. He was like what? Let me taste some player. All right first off I ain’t making I got socks off Second off me and nothing, okay Never in my life playing listen up I never do drugs And then he just uh, he Flew away so that was that ha ha I like doing this joke. There’s always few people in the crowd like dying laughter They’re right. Next door Montano. He won’t do this for Still go on. My name is Richard Lawson. Thank you so much. I appreciate you

100 Comments

  • Reply stickytackzach thumb tack September 2, 2019 at 1:43 am

    Boi dont make me get you pickel chin head ass

  • Reply Eunice_Chung 20281040 September 2, 2019 at 2:47 am

    Hey not all women make duck lips. >:(

  • Reply melissa poole September 2, 2019 at 3:07 am

    haha

  • Reply nico roblox September 2, 2019 at 3:50 am

    That man got me lafing

  • Reply LDR-Mango_Mango September 2, 2019 at 4:55 am

    AHH

  • Reply Sara Lopez September 2, 2019 at 4:59 am

    He is so good SIMON smiled!!

  • Reply 3A Animals September 2, 2019 at 11:07 am

    What's with this guy and the number 8, car flipped eight times, shot in the chest eight times.

  • Reply Maven Esquith September 2, 2019 at 11:12 am

    If we could only bottle that energy!

  • Reply Guh Student September 2, 2019 at 11:58 am

    I watched this so many times its unhealty

  • Reply Cringe Factor September 2, 2019 at 5:17 pm

    Not funny

    Didn't laugh

  • Reply Dewon Kennedy September 2, 2019 at 7:08 pm

    He sound like will smith

  • Reply hieloloco September 2, 2019 at 8:51 pm

    Lindaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • Reply Asten Gaming September 2, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    How can people possibly dislike this!?!?!

  • Reply Revolution September 2, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    Am I the only one that doesnt find this guy funny.He is good don't get me wrong but he isn't as good as Simon made him to be when he pressed the buzzer on Tom cotters act (who is by far the best comedian I have ever seen)

  • Reply ancientconnor Lock September 2, 2019 at 11:28 pm

    anyone watching in 2016

  • Reply Gabriel Ortiz September 3, 2019 at 6:00 am

    he looks like kevin heart

  • Reply David 2k September 3, 2019 at 7:40 am

    I hear Kevin Hart but taller

  • Reply Motross September 3, 2019 at 10:27 am

    11:32 is illegal in germany

  • Reply BarbbMellow Cho September 3, 2019 at 1:31 pm

    👁️ 👁
    👄.

  • Reply ANIQ FADHLI September 3, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    Next Will Smith btw

  • Reply SHIVIK SINGHAL September 3, 2019 at 4:32 pm

    This man is dope

  • Reply Alex’s Stuff September 3, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    HONEY, WHERE'S MY SUPERSUIT?

  • Reply srithayalini kalamohan September 3, 2019 at 10:47 pm

    I going to have a asthma attack lol he's Soo funny

  • Reply Alex Gacha September 3, 2019 at 11:53 pm

    1:47 when you dont know what to say

  • Reply Sehimi Hocine September 4, 2019 at 1:15 am

    Too much Kevin hart dude .. Do you be special

  • Reply CYby Rose September 4, 2019 at 1:22 am

    I swear is no one gonna talk about how he ran on stage, that was amazing

  • Reply Milia Clabaugh September 4, 2019 at 1:47 am

    😂😂😂😂😅😆

  • Reply Evan Pare September 4, 2019 at 2:47 am

    I’ve seen this guy so many times but o just got some of the jokes he said

  • Reply Smokey Cotton September 4, 2019 at 3:18 am

    I spy a Phoenix X'D
    6:20

    I'm sorry it was neccessary

  • Reply Dark Wolvzzz September 4, 2019 at 11:32 am

    Bro is this guy the donkey from shrek I bet he is

  • Reply N Word September 4, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    He's like a tall kevin heart

  • Reply It's Natsuki XD September 4, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    No joke, I’ve watched this for about 50+ times!

  • Reply Marcin Dudek September 4, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    He sounds like donkey from shreck 🧐

  • Reply Phil September 4, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    Send this to someone and make them go to 14:00 without context

  • Reply Amber MERTENS September 4, 2019 at 7:59 pm

    Automatic translation: "What's your name?" "My name is pretty lost."

    AND I OOP-

  • Reply Big Man September 4, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    This is donkey from shrek

  • Reply Debbie Nandalall September 4, 2019 at 11:39 pm

    What the hell. He's a living cartoon.

  • Reply Alyssa Galmiche September 5, 2019 at 1:45 am

    😂😂😂

  • Reply Medha Sarma September 5, 2019 at 3:25 am

    He’s one of those people who you can tell is a nice person

  • Reply Dilvinder Singh September 5, 2019 at 4:13 am

    4:56 😍

  • Reply Sonya Ortiz September 5, 2019 at 4:14 am

    6:17 6:18 6:19

  • Reply Sonya Ortiz September 5, 2019 at 4:16 am

    7:46

  • Reply Maui September 5, 2019 at 5:43 am

    lil bit eddie murphy flava in this muhfucka

  • Reply Ganga Rai September 5, 2019 at 7:27 am

    I’m a stand up comedian

    Which means I’m unemployed

    And i stand on the side

  • Reply The Colourless September 5, 2019 at 8:01 am

    “That’s a sexy lookin’ dddUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK”

  • Reply gol d September 5, 2019 at 9:08 am

    when im watching him i feel like he is controlling my peace . like I wont feel peace till he acts normal . His effect is weird .

  • Reply noah himweene September 5, 2019 at 1:05 pm

    HE is great ,y'all nigaz jst never appreciate.fuxk ya

  • Reply Jaden Alex Walrond September 5, 2019 at 2:21 pm

    10:17 was the funniest part!!!

  • Reply Darth Vader September 5, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    How he doesn't laugh so hard himself during his performances I have no idea.

  • Reply Halzsd Carder September 5, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    Who came from him coming back to agt?

  • Reply Joona Östlund September 5, 2019 at 7:40 pm

    during the live shows he kinda got … not so gopd

  • Reply अपने बाप को मत सीखा September 5, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Ur mama don't know whoes ur Daddy..Nice try…

  • Reply Razorbboy September 6, 2019 at 2:59 am

    4:56 She thought about it for a sec.

  • Reply Outrageous Gaming September 6, 2019 at 3:05 am

    hilarious

  • Reply Titanium Whale September 6, 2019 at 3:55 am

    1:54

    Lawson: a-ha..

  • Reply Sabeit 56 September 6, 2019 at 3:57 am

    His glance is magnificent:))))

  • Reply Mr.Duck1 24 September 6, 2019 at 4:04 am

    How quirky! He makes funny faces UwU

  • Reply Waiana Kamo September 6, 2019 at 4:06 am

    Wow his grandma is a martyr

  • Reply Ruthie May September 6, 2019 at 6:29 am

    He don't know when to quit.

  • Reply Probe Process Servers Esq September 6, 2019 at 7:31 am

    Tyra sounded like a real pedophile saying he young enough to be with her lmao that's why she not on the show anymore. This guy should've been on medication as a kid

  • Reply Aniyah Sajuan September 6, 2019 at 8:16 am

    The one where he's wearing the orange and Brown shirt… I literally COULD NOT BREATHE XD I LUV DIS DOOD

  • Reply Gachagirl _rules September 6, 2019 at 9:11 am

    Next Kevin heart over here 😂

  • Reply Obey Stream September 6, 2019 at 11:15 am

    I you can get Simon to stand up and clap when there is not a dog show

  • Reply Loki Star September 6, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    Real Joker

  • Reply Hibah Jehangir September 6, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    13:48 skip here and thank me later 😂😂😭😭😭

  • Reply Isak Hammarsten September 6, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    xD! I luv it!!!

  • Reply Amanda Niemann September 6, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    I love preacher

  • Reply Luana Banana September 6, 2019 at 10:33 pm

    Jeder steht außer Heidi 🙄

  • Reply Cousin Okri September 6, 2019 at 11:29 pm

    Impressive… Heidi Klum still pretending to understand the English language o.O

  • Reply Lashae Banks September 7, 2019 at 1:58 am

    Boring

  • Reply dawg September 7, 2019 at 3:11 am

    kevin hart who ? 🌚

  • Reply JackieChin Channydog September 7, 2019 at 5:49 am

    Preacher is one of those dudes can make you laugh even though the story isn't funny

  • Reply Jiggly Tricks September 7, 2019 at 7:08 am

    Best comedy

  • Reply Nightmare Funtime Freddy September 7, 2019 at 8:05 am

    Coach: You wanna join taekwando?

    John: Yes Coach! bows

    Coach: Show me watcha got!

    John: Imma hit this Giant Door with only ONE FINGER!!!

    Coach: Oh yeah, even masters cant do that! Then do it!

    John hits the Giant Door with ONE FINGER

    John: 14:00 – 14:35

  • Reply Dark Nation7 September 7, 2019 at 8:07 am

    It's his actions that make him so memorable

  • Reply Renalyn Choi September 7, 2019 at 8:15 am

    At 2:58 did I just here a girl moan?

  • Reply 0W3N RB September 7, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    he moves like a literal cartoon character

  • Reply Mr. Cheese September 7, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    Comedian:I'm 26
    The woman:he young to be with me
    Comedian:I have a girlfriend
    The woman:BRUH

  • Reply Alicia Blizzard September 7, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    I was born with big lips too👄👄

  • Reply Nova's Depression September 7, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    "That's a sexy lookin' DUCK "

  • Reply Womby The Wizard September 7, 2019 at 9:07 pm

    Okay I'm sorry I didn't like him that much. Like he was okay don't get me wrong but I don't understand why people were laughing that much. The jokes were okay the delivery was meh. MAybe I just don't get the humor.

  • Reply Mauricio Rothje September 7, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    legenda em português tá uma bosta

  • Reply Amelia McGowan September 7, 2019 at 11:21 pm

    14:20 through 14:40 I was eating nuggets in the car and I choked on them from laughter!

  • Reply Kate Smires September 8, 2019 at 1:30 am

    14:10 a moth when u turn the light on

  • Reply Jacklyn Timms September 8, 2019 at 2:20 am

    can someone explain the joke to me at 8:21

  • Reply Mobile Squad September 8, 2019 at 2:22 am

    Black power

  • Reply Bell Lander September 8, 2019 at 3:35 am

    2:39 is that kevin fiuge

  • Reply wave dripp September 8, 2019 at 4:45 am

    I love this man!! He made smile im really tough times…. Keep doing what youre doing!!!

  • Reply Kawaii squad September 8, 2019 at 5:01 am

    This man is my spirit animal

  • Reply Y N G D M N D September 8, 2019 at 5:37 am

    He always gets me with his jokes

  • Reply Phet Pham September 8, 2019 at 6:30 am

    13:53

    If you want a warning to prepare to get as much air as possible and don’t choke on your spit from laughing

  • Reply J Smokey September 8, 2019 at 7:34 am

    This is Why I Loved Y'all Black Folks

  • Reply Salty VI September 8, 2019 at 8:44 am

    Its 3 in the morning my parents are asleep and I am trying so hard not to laugh but I had to cover my mouth for like 3 min straight just so I wouldn't wake my parents up.

  • Reply Wrench Puga September 8, 2019 at 10:41 am

    Not even funny didn't not laugh or smile once I kinda wanna punch him in the face he just anoying

  • Reply Elijah Gaming September 8, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    This is why you should have black friends

  • Reply Bud Wizer September 8, 2019 at 12:50 pm

    How is he not a famous actor??

  • Reply Syd Dino September 8, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    he shouldve won

  • Reply DANGER ZONE September 8, 2019 at 2:17 pm

    He would be a good voice actor

  • Reply anothergirlontheinternetz September 8, 2019 at 3:44 pm

    Lol

  • Reply anothergirlontheinternetz September 8, 2019 at 3:44 pm

    Lol can't st9p laughing

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